Sunday, May 25, 2008

More Self Lovin

Currently Reading: The Guide To Getting It On!

This is a continuation of The Art of Self Lovin, part 2 of this month's Self Gratification Trilogy. If you've missed it, why not head back to Part 1; Does God Really Kill Kittens, and the b
eginning of this part, The Art of Self Lovin. Otherwise, read on and enjoy. It's pretty long so you're welcome to skip around to the parts you feel like reading.

There are so many misconceptions about Masturbation that it is dizzying. It is said that it's bad for you, that it's sinful, and (this ones rare nowadays but used to be prevalent) that you can die from it. It is still believed that A) women don't masturbate. This mostly stems off of the idea that women do
n't "need" sex and sexual pleasure "the way men do". And B) that all men masturbate.

You couldn't be further from the truth.


While it's true that many women tend to have more inhibitions about it than men (we are taught since infancy that it is wrong, dirty, or inappropriate to touch ourselves "down there", so what else are we
supposed to think? While with boys it is assumed that they're going to touch themselves at some point. Not to mention that many girls don't even know that they can give themselves pleasure, especially "down there".) but it doesn't mean that most women don't do it anyway. In fact, so many women masturbate despite these teachings, and end up feeling that what their doing is wrong, and are left with a feeling of guilt and shame, often convinced that what they're doing is some kind of mortal sin. To me, that seems really really sad, and completely unfair.

But regardless of why or when, women do masturbate. Not necessarily all of them, but many many many. And they do it in all sorts of ways.
Speaking of vagina, has anybody seen the movie "Teeth" yet? Is it even out yet? No idea...gotta check that out... Will definitely do a review when I manage to see it.
K, my most hypocritical "bi" friend (who always complains about not getting laid, but when she did, she whine that it was weird, gross, and un-pleasurable) had a birthday last fall, and while we were at a local (lacking) adult store w/ Bell (Elizabeth Bell) simply out of boredom and because K had never been, I bought her a small Power Bullet (my review for this item). She complained and complained about how she "didn't masturbate" because she didn't "need" to masturbate. Finding these statements ridiculous (as you can probably guess I did, if you've read anything by me about masturbation), hypocritical, and - in a way- ignorant, I bought it anyway and stuffed it into her purse whether she liked it or not.
A month or two later she finally admitted to using it the night before, and took a sort of pride in how much she did
n't like it. It felt "weird", she said, which is actually what I'd expect from someone who'd never really orgasmed before, but I still couldn't accept the answer from her because of her spiteful hate of the activity. I doubt she really did finish as it is, but even if she did, orgasm really can be pretty damned weird when you're not used to it. Maybe she didn't do it right. Granted it's a pretty hard activity to fuck up, but this is a girl who's never really looked at her vagina, never had an STD test, yet lets lots of girls and guys get down there, and somehow still thinks that "all vaginas look the same".

Here's a quick technique found at

*"Put a pillow on a chair. Place a Venus butterfly or another battery-operated toy on the pillow. Straddle the chair so that you can hold on to the back and lower yourself onto your vibrator so that it touches your clit. Turn on your vibrator and move back and forth. Since it's hands free, I've had some kno
ck your socks off orgasms this way!"
Did you know that "In 1994 Dr. Jocelyn Elders—the second woman appointed to the position of U.S. Surgeon General— lost her job as Surgeon General because she dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught in schools."
Poor thing. I wish I'd been old enough then to stand up against that. Can you imagine? She actually lost her job over this silly, natural, harmless thing, all because it was sexual! It's infuriating! This country makes me want to move to Canada. Someone let me know if it's better there.

It's quite often assumed that all men masturbate. While this could be considered close to the truth, I must put down that not all men masturbate. Many of those who don't just don't see it necessary, some may just be too prude to do such (I've known some of those), and some just don't like it or don't think they need it.

That said, most guys masturbate. It's just the way things are. Personally, I think it's because it's so much easier (and obvious) for men than it is for woman. If you had to look at, adjust, and handle your sexual organ every single day, you'd be a little more aware of what you could do with it too.

Here are two quick male techniques, since their weren't very helpful ones in the first part, found on

*The plastic bag - In your bedroom (or someone else's if you wish), fill a plastic sandwich bag with petroleum jelly and put your erect penis in the bag, squishing the jelly so that your entire penis is covered. Then, place your penis, still in the bag, between the mattress and the box spring. Pump in and out to orgasm. The best part? No mess.

*The cold climax - In the first of our masturbation techniques, masturbate as you normally would, but when you feel the sensation of ejaculation coming on, grab hold of some ice cubes or crushed ice with the other hand, then continue masturbating to completion. The feeling of cold in one hand, heat in the other, and the sensation of ejaculating will enhance the experience.

For those of you nervous or uncomfortable with masturbation (or your sexual body), it's
Many people (like K) are uncomfortable about masturbation and other taboo sex subjects
important for you to at least learn the reasons behind your discomfort. because despite how liberal and free minded they try to be when it comes to being sexual, crossing boundaries, and issues of "free love", they are still ingrained with the basic teachings and ideals of their society while growing up. They are still stuck with the same mindset that sex is dirty. That it's okay for someone else to touch you there (often only if you love or are married to that person), but not okay for you to touch yourself there; it's too dirty. This often starts at infancy when children are told not to touch themselves. We won't even tell our children what their sexual organs are for godssake! It's not a penis or vagina, it's a peepee.

Whether we realize it or not, that is the beginning of our complexes when it comes to our sexual bodies. We don't give stupid nicknames to kids eyes, feet, or ears, do we? Why the fuck can't we just call the body parts by their biological names?
You may think it'd be weird, but think about it. If you have children, they're learning everything (at first) from you. When you teach them about their body, why not their entire body? "Thats your arrrrm, your tooooes, your peeeenis, your beeeeelly!"

My little sister took her 5th grade "Puberty" class a few months back, and when she was through she could name three different brands of pads and show you what to do with them, but she didn't know what a vagina was. That! is a big problem.

The point is that we have to understand where are bias and negative feelings are coming from. Think about yourself. Where do your ideas
really come from? Books, media, family? How many of them actually stem from your own wants? Your own research into a subject that you just thought you needed to know more about? Your actual, logical teachings from school? From your upbringing and childhood?
How many of them come from your church?

I am fine with people having their own opinions about masturbation, that's what life is. But with having your own opinions about anything it requires two responsibilities. 1) You don't try to force those with opposite viewpoints towards your ideal. I've had people argue that that's what I do, but I beg to differ. Unless I say otherwise, my intentions here are to educate, to throw facts, logic, and opinions into the world in hopes that someone will read them and it will help them in some way. My intention is for people to know about these subjects, maybe experiment with or research these subjects, and then form their own opinions about them. 2) You know why you have the opinion you do. People should know why they think what they think and (hopefully) have a logical reasoning behind those ideals. I hope that people can go beyond the taboos and bigotry that has been pushed at them and impressed into their brains and eyes and mouths for so many years because of peoples ignorance and idiocy.
By thinking, really thinking about your ideas and opinions and where they come from, you can learn so much about yourself. It's like delving into an ocean of thought that you've never been able to explore before.
That fear you have of touching your own sex organ? Maybe that stemmed from your mothers harshness about sexuality and waiting until marriage. Your disgust with seeing a penis? Maybe that comes from the time you walked in on your brother masturbating. Your insecurity about your body, masculinity/femininity, or your sexuality? Maybe that comes from a family members verbal abuse as a child or teenager.
The point is that once you trace back these ideas, fears, and opinions, you have the option of what to do with it. Perhaps you can bring yourself to accept the weirdness of what started this and, over time, learn to accept your body or adapt your problem. Or maybe you'll find that you are okay with that problem, with that origin, and you'll say "okay, well, I think I'll stay this way for now". But either way the important part becomes this; after doing this you become more in control of your own body, your own thoughts; your own sexuality. This is important.

I really hope this isn't too long for everybody. I got to rambling again. Here's a quick fic, followed by some info about next time and about the new fiction stuff.

I imagined her in bed, surrounded by her bright pink bedsheets, her hand thrusting wildly against her pelvis, her fingers thrusting into her pussy as she moaned my name. The image drove me wild, my hand pressing harder against my clit in small, quick circles. My breath came faster, my heart racing as a tightness grew deep inside me. I moved my hand down, just for a moment, to slide two fingers into my throbbing pussy. My fingers came out slick and wet. They went instantly back to my clit, the liquid making the motions smoother, faster, better. The new, wet sensation made me gasp, my back arching slightly. I moaned, my free hand gripping my breasts. Caressing, squeezing, pinching. I couldn't slow down my gasping huffs of breath, and I no longer wanted to.
My fingers slid over my clit; faster, harder. I imagined Eva's breasts, jiggling delicately from the force of her arm's motions. The image brought a noise, part moan and part grunt, tearing from my lips as my fingers thrust back into my vagina. The pressure built and my thrusts became fierce, pushing my fingers as far as they could go into my depths. I added a finger and bent them against the inner flesh, pushing against that perfect spot inside. My back bowed as a sharp tingling pleasure shot up my spine. My hand on my breast pushed me back down, grabbing a nipple and pinching, making me cry out and thrust my hand further into myself.
Inhibitions lost I moaned her name, my fingers moving back to my clitoris, thrusting against it. A warmth built somewhere below my pubic bone, spreading in a tingling wave down my legs and up my back. My muscles began to tighten, clenching against my fingers as I slid them back inside to flick against my g-spot.
~Sin Secret
In the Final Part of the Self Gratification trilogy (even though there will be four parts when we're done), we'll cover why Masturbation is actually good for you, Historical figures who've helped masturbation, Further Reading ideas, and a quick intro on How to Talk to Children about Masturbation (which will, in the future, evolve into how to talk to children about sex itself).

In case you're the least bit curious, the italicized block of text is a bit of erotic fiction (by me) that is appropriate for the post. Hopefully I'll have these in most of the posts in the future, at the top of Position posts as a sort of fictional description of the position, and at the bottom of all others (that way if you don't want to read them you don't have to).
Hopefully I'll have some guest stories occasionally (particularly by Bell if she'll ever send me anything) to mix it up a bit and you don't get tired of my mediocre attempts.

If any of you ever want to contribute, please let me know and I'll let you know what posts/topics are coming up to see if you're interested. ^-^ Could work as a bit of advertising for those of you who have your own site or blog.

Until next time, have fun and play safe!
<3 href="">Does God Really Kill Kittens, The Art of Self Lovin, You Want to Take a Hot Bath, He Wants To Masturbate, The Sex Taboo


The Sex Toy Guy said...

Thank you very much for this post, the use of ones own hands or sex toys for assistance in masturbating is something that should not cause shame or embarrassment. We need more people spreading the word about masturbation and all that it can offer you.

Thanks again and keep it up.

Sexufree said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DAVE BONES said...

masturbating into a bag of grease! that is hilarious!

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