Sunday, November 9, 2008

Mindless Rambling and Email :: By Kay

I think it's very important to see how Kay's attitudes towards her sessions and master have changed over the past few entries, and in upcoming ones too. I think it says a lot about the way people look at BDSM and, in a way, idealize it without really realizing what it means for different people and whether or not its actually something you want or just a passing (or even shock-value) interest you have. Not that I've mentioned that to Kay, but I don't think she even reads my site any more >.<

Another Email from the Master and some mindless ramblings...

By Kay
I have five relatively easy tasks for you.
1. Find one girl that you find attractive. Think about the things that makes you most attracted to her.
2. Think about how you would describe "submissiveness" or "submission" to someone who has no knowledge of it. I would recommend writing it down because I am going to ask you how you see submission.
3. I want you to think about the thing that makes you the most happy about being a submissive. What need does it fill? How does it fill that need? How does it make you feel?
4. Read the explanation of goals here: and think of a goal for yourself.
5. Think up your name. If you can't think of one, I will get Jewels to give you one. She's inventive like that. If you would like more input on your name, I would recommend talking with her first, so that the two of you can come up with one together that you both like.
I will see you at noon on Sunday. I have a meeting at 3pm, so if you want a longer session, we could postpone until 4pm and then go late.
Thank you,


We WERE supposed to have a session last Saturday, but I started my period...and since he's a fan of nudity, well, you know.

Is it just me or does the whole nudity part make you question his motives? I mean we have set down before that we don't plan to have sex....ever...I just don't understand the importance of complete nudity. Granted, I have found myself more comfortable with my own body since we began this, but at the same time, there were other ways for me to go about gaining that confidence...if I felt like it. I don't know...

I'm ashamed of my collar, the one I bought to wear everywhere. I wore it twice. And then after a while I just began to feel like a dog and it was degrading. If I find someone that actually wants to collar me, then I might wear it, but as of right now, I just feel weird wearing it. Or looking at it.

And as for the email above, the fact that he makes me think SO MUCH about FEELINGS makes me feel like I'm in a regular therapy session. I already have a therapist. I don't need another one. A therapist, I might add, that I haven't even figured out how to tell about all this stuff. If the session posts weren't so graphic, I believe I would just bring them in to her. But I think I would end up forcing my therapist to get a therapist herself. Ah well...

The joys of being a person that is beyond messed up...

See what I mean? Anyway, check out Kay's blog at A Life Beneath, and stop by next Sunday to see if she shapes up, or continues her negative emotions..
Have fun and play safe!

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