Friday, January 30, 2009

Get Burned with Jenna Jameson. Wait, No, Don't.

A porn review! Woot...or, no, not really.

I ordered my first porn flick from EF a few weeks back, and spent a whole lot of effort trying to enjoy and write about it.

Probably a wasted effort....

Jenna Jameson (great boobs and an absolute delight to watch when she actually speaks) stars in her first BDSM skin-flick adventure; BURN.

Seemed like a good idea at the time, I swear. Unfortunately, Vivid succeeded at only one thing; turning one of my favorite favorite favorite movies into a horridly acted, badly shot, story-less, and sexually uninteresting.

It's apparently supposed to be an "adult take" on The Secretary. One of my absolute favorite movies, and they ruined it.
I agree that I wanted a little more sex in that movie too, but this is just ridiculous.

The movie basically took a few scenes from the movie (Shy cutter Lee replaced with big breasted lesbian Erica who burns herself with cigarettes), tore them up and made them sexual, threw in a shitload of completely unrelated sex, and somehow managed to do that without having a single woman orgasm. (That last part really bothers me...)

Lots of cum shot oral scenes, a crazy amount of anal licking, and far too much moaning from the girls without moaning from the guys, mixed with a whole boatload of bad actors (Jenna was the only decent actor out of the lot).

In the BDSM club, not a single guy is tied up or being flogged. Not a single one. Whyyyy? That bugs me too.

During one oddly placed masturbation scene (mimicking Lee's bathroom scene), a woman basically gives her dildo a blowjob. When was the last time you did that, I mean, without someone watching?

Anyway. I hated it. Bleh.

You can see my full review HERE, and let me know what you think!

Adam & Eve's Adult Sex Toys


SINgleGIRL said...

Sounds worse than awful. What were they thinking (and how did you manage to sit through the whole thing)?

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