Half Naked Thursday!

I leaned gently against the wall, waiting for the desperate look to appear in his eyes.
The look that came every time his body yearned for the delicate strips of leather resting against my body...

Another image from my little red dress shoot for advertising. There's something about this one I like....

Sexy HNT!
~Sin

The Last Straw :: By Kay

I think this session very much describes Kay's true ideas about BDSM, ideas that she hasn't even really realized yet. But, read on, its interesting. ~Sin

The session that occurred the night after the party...I was in a very good mood and it was a rather light session because I was on my period. It was almost relaxing in a way.

The next session was only a few days later, but my happiness had obviously had time to dissipate. My slight feelings of unease about sessions were able to return and the ease with which I'd slid into submissive mode the previous time had disappeared by this time. I can't remember how the session started, but I remember how it ended. He was going to punish me for something. I can't remember what. But he asked me if I was spanked as a child. That was his first mistake. I told him I was. He continued talking for a minute and then told me he would place me over his knee and spank my bottom.

That was his second mistake. I cried out 'No!' and he said 'No?' in a tone that questioned why on earth I would possibly be questioning my Master. That was his third mistake. (And the list keeps getting longer) I said no with a little more determination before I broke down crying and he pulled me into his arms. I didn't want to be there, but I stayed. He'd reminded me of all the things my parents had ever done wrong in a position where I was most vulnerable and then he'd threatened to repeat them. That's why I was crying. But he will never know that. We moved on. He told me to get onto the table and we engaged in some sensation play.

He told me a submissive rarely got to choose what happened to her and so when he was finished doing as he pleased, he practically ordered me to choose something. I can't really think when I'm in submissive mode, so I chose the first thing that came to mind. The leather gloves. That was my mistake. He'd manhandled me a little earlier in the session. I simultaneously liked it

and hated it. I don't know why I chose the gloves. Again, my mistake. So he manhandled me. And I

writhed on the table. I can’t remember how we ended, but we were going to start Cool Down and he sat on the table and he hugged me. And I stayed for a second, staring into space before I shot off the table, telling him I wanted to go home. I ran to get my stuff, tugging my shirt on before my face dropped into my palms and I just cried. He didn’t know what to do, but at some point he pulled me into his arms and I just cried. He checked my pulse and apparently he told me I went into shock.

I stared at the wall. I didn’t know what else to do. I felt…violated. I can’t even explain it. And I looked at my cell phone. He found it appropriate to say “Time flies when you’re having fun.” If I’d had anything left in me, I would have choked him. Instead I said no and informed

him that I’d promised my roommate the house until midnight. There was some offer made to let me go to a room upstairs and continue cooling down. I rejected it for obvious reasons. He told me there were still people upstairs, but I squared my shoulders, composed myself, told him I didn’t care, that I could act, and I marched up the stairs. He was wrong, there was no one. And so he tried to keep me talking for a bit, but I didn’t respond and I finally left. I’m surprised I made it home. My eyes were blank as I drove and I even missed a turn at some point.

He called a few days later. I didn’t answer my phone.

My roommate and I went to see him about a week later. I’d refused to go alone. And I told him my sessions either needed to be continued with a Mistress, or not at all.

So they are on pause until further notice.

Do you think a female mistress would really be that different from a man? *shrug* maybe, maybe not. She might be worse...

Play safe! ~Sin

Sexy Survey From Sin

One of my favorite bloggers, PhoneGirl (who has been a bit MIA recently, and sadly, is considering shutting down her page) has a survey on her site for anyone and everyone to fill out about Phone Sex and Phone Sex Callers. A while back I filled it out, and have meant to post it for a while, but kept forgetting.

So here, for your mediocre interest, is my response to PhoneGirl's Phone Sex Survey ^-^

Name: Sin Sekret

Age: 19

Gender: Female

Have you ever had phone sex? Not really, no, but I’ve had Text Sex during classes.

If no, do you want to? Sometimes.

Has a significant other ever wanted to have phone sex? No…

If not, would you do it? Probably.

Did you both cum?. Not with the texting, no

What were they into? Were you shocked, explain During “Text Sex” everything was pretty standard. I haven’t found a guy that was into anything weird. I kind of wish I did, because then I wouldn’t feel awkward about the odd things I like.

Did/do you two have phone sex often? No.

Everyone has a secret fetish, what is yours? Don’t be shy… I looove being tied up, and have recently found a fascination with being hit hard on the back. A lot of Bondage and S/M stuff really interests me. Especially the idea of being owned.

Have you ever called a phone sex service? No, but I’ve wanted to.

If never, would you ever call? What would you want to talk about? I might, but not so much to get off. I think I’d mostly call just to see what it was like. But then again, that’s what I have you for ^-^ <3

Do you think you would ever call? Maybe one day when I’ve got enough cash and curiousity.

What is your ultimate fantasy, the one you are probably nervous about admitting to yourself, think hard I think being completely owned, and I mean completely- to the point of servitude and punishment- is a fantasy that nags at me a bit. I’m not sure if I could ever do it in reality, but the fantasy is nice. It’s so interesting and appealing; giving up all that freedom and being loved and punished and cared for.

Any comments or suggestions for my site? Not so far.
I assume you’re not allowed to record your phone sessions, but maybe when you get someone especially interesting you could write little conversations up based off of what actually happened. I think that’d be cool to read.

Until Next Time,

Have fun and play safe!

<3>

Sin

A Party (Pt 2) :: By Kay

At a random break, she took my purse from me, dropping it to the floor, informing me that I was not leaving, before she kissed me again.

Over and over, biting, clawing, kissing, her teeth randomly tugging at my lower lip. My neck throbbed with each of her bites, her lips always finding the same spot on my skin, I knew I’d have a hickey and I really didn’t care.

I would like to take the time to point out that we never touched each other in blatantly sexual zones, except the couple of times clutching each other’s asses, drawing our bodies closer together. And still, I found myself moaning, panting, whimpering into her mouth.

It was around this time, after we’d already spent forever entwined in each other, that they declared it was time for the birthday girl to get her birthday whippings. Twenty-six for her age, to be delivered by the people of the party, the twenty-seventh by the master himself for growth.

The girl and I were separated at this point, finding room to stand near the table where the birthday girl was strapped. I was rather disappointed, but I preferred not to look desperate and reserved myself to stand beside the stairs near a guy who began to eye me rather openly. He ended up standing behind me and, having been a voyeur to the show upstairs and possibly a participant I never saw, began to dig his nails into my back, clawing me.

My Master tried to pass the whip around, but people were wary to take it. Some people finally took turns and by about number 16, I believe, I took mine (only with the urging of the guy now rather intent upon me) and I laid one across her thigh, the thudding sound hitting my ears. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it as she shrieked on the table, but others soon took my place and I moved back to stand by the stairs.

A different guy, the one who had mixed my drinks, came over and placed ice cubes in my hand, telling me I should make a new friend. I gazed at him for a moment as he walked back across the room, unsure exactly what I was supposed to do and I let the ice melt for a long moment before I finally turned to the guy beside me, the one that had taken an interest in me, and ran them over his neck, to which he responded by clutching my back tightly, digging his nails in.

Drink Guy came back over and continued to stock me up with ice and at some point, I called The Girl back over and ran the ice over her neck as well, watching happily as her eyes fluttered shut. Her Boy walked by and I asked him if he would like some ice and I ran the remainder over his neck, trailing my cold fingers over his skin after it melted, playing with his skin momentarily before I was snatched back by Drink Guy and the other guy again.

By this time, they had found one of those tubey popsicles…it was pressed against my skin and they played with temperature for a short amount of time. Drink Guy pressed it against a place on my back and when he removed it, the two of them instantly placed their lips there, biting down, the warmth combining with the actual bite to make it seem that much worse than it was. I must say it was one of the craziest things I’ve ever felt and their lips felt so…warm…

Another guy came into the party a little while later and they invited him to bite me…apparently everyone was allowed to take a turn if they so chose, and at this point I was really beyond caring anyway. This guy was a gentler biter, nibbling more so, but still making sure to clamp hard enough to elicit and gasp and make it feel oh so good.

If I counted correctly, five people bit me on Saturday night, although I do not remember correctly. I had definitely slipped into a certain manner of subspace by this point and my time sequence and relative awareness of events was long gone, although never to the point where I was unsafe, of that I am definitely certain. I was fully aware that I could have said no, I just found that I didn’t want to. I felt so…sexy…for the first time in a long time, and really the sexiest I had ever actually felt.

My roommate and I went home a bit later and she counted my hickeys/bite marks. There were nine. Nine markings scattered over my neck and back. And The Girl was the only one that had touched a particular spot on my neck, so I know exactly which one is hers. Yes, know, because it is still there and my neck is still sore where she bit, a long, narrow bruise running about half the length of the left side of my neck.

And my lip is still a little swollen.

A Party (Pt 1) :: By Kay

Yet another uber long post by Kay. It's much more positive than the last, and a bit more fun too ^-^ Will have the second part up next week. Kay writes too damned much.

~Sin

"Oh Look! Balloons! It Really Is A Party"
My first large BDSM gathering...
By Kay

Saturday was a birthday party for a fellow submissive, the huggy, happy one I mentioned in the prior post. She studies under a different Master, but she has regular playdates with my Master and so he hosted her birthday. And of course that meant the basement was used.

My roommate and I got there probably about an hour into it or so and people still had not really made it into the basement, which, to be perfectly honest, was fine by me.

There was a rather awkward moment when I came across two old friends of mine from a couple years back that I hadn’t spoken to in a while. It turned out they were there merely because they were close friends of hers in the geek community, but were not into the BDSM scene, which is fine and dandy by me, for if they had stuck around for later activities I do believe I would not have had as much fun. As it was, it was slightly awkward with them there anyways while I discussed things with my Master that I would really have preferred they did not hear, but of which I was not going to deter myself from speaking.

A girl that I had a slight crush on showed up a little while later, but she had a boy with her that she was treating as a boyfriend (even now, I have no idea what their relationship is). I found myself rather disappointed as I had my heart set on flirting with her. There were so many couples present that I began to find myself overwhelmed and I set out to get plastered. So I mentioned to a friend (and a few other people that were around and listening) that I would like to drink, but that I did not wish to take any of the hard stuff unmixed. And so a rather nice guy mixed me up a really great drink which I found myself rather content with for the time being.

I chatted with a few more people and when I finished the drink, I made a point to declare that I could still see properly and so they guy inquired as to whether or not I was referring to my empty glass. He refilled it, this time making the alcohol content rather higher in proportion to the mix and I can safely say that after that one I could not see properly at all. Yes, I am a lightweight. Make fun all you want, but it is my theory that it is a rather good thing because it takes less money to get me drunk and on a college budget, that’s great. Besides, if I pace myself, I find I can hold alcohol rather nicely…it’s when I chug that I have issues.

And so I was happily drunk, flirting with anyone and everyone.

And then came the point in time when I decided I wanted to snuggle with a girl so I found my roommate’s sister and was prepared to hug her, but against my wishes, my Master found the girl I was flirting with and brought her to me. He has issues with boundaries. I pulled him aside and asked what he said to her and he declared that he told her I wished to “sex her.” I wanted to hit him.

But regardless, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me with so much force and thus began the most insane, most erotic night.

People don’t really believe me, but I sobered up rather quickly and soon our hands were all over each other, pulling our bodies closer together. Mind you, there was still a room full of people but no one cared and that kind of behavior is rather expected at these parties. At least at my Master’s house. People are kinky. It’s great.

So we stood kissing for a bit, some people watching us. I was totally not caring at this point because my god she was a good kisser and her lips knew just what I wanted. Limited tongue, and surprisingly, close-mouthed. It was intense. She kissed me with so much force some of the time that she bent me back in the process, keeping our lips together.

If we ever really pulled apart for a certain extended time, my Master would come over and do something that forced our bodies, our lips back together again. At one point dug his nails into our backs, causing us to arch into each other.

At some point, the topic of biting came up and she asked if I liked it. I, of course, said yes and she bit down on my neck, pulling at the skin, sucking on it, teasing it between her teeth. I whimpered softly, no longer caring who heard. I’ve only ever been nibbled before. This was a whole new thing, fulfilling so many of my vampire fantasies in one go.

She pulled back momentarily, rather proud of herself I think and each time she went back to bite, she made sure to focus on the same spot, increasing the intensity of each bite and the rush it sent through me. At some point, the boy came over and she asked him if he wished to have a side of my neck, which he readily accepted and the two bit down on my neck at the same time. His bite was gentler than hers. I believe he was probably not sure about biting me hard since he barely knew me. But either way, it felt harder when it was coupled with hers.

And so that is how the boy joined in the fun and he played with each of us in turn. At one point, he made out with her and I proceeded to nibble on her neck, flicking my tongue over her skin, acting out things I’d never dreamed I’d actually be able to do.

At some point, we made our way to the couch and sat for a bit, my leg over her lap. She caressed it gently and we sat and socialized for a while with other people who were rather friendlier towards us after our little show.

But it wasn’t long before the socializing idea rather died and she motioned for me to straddle her and we again made out, our bodies grinding together. The boy spoke up from beside us at some break in the making out and said that we were hot. I found that rather amusing.

I find it so easy to lose track of the sequence of events at this place and at some point my roommate decided we should go. So I rose to go but I only made it so far as to get my purse before the girl was giving me a kiss goodbye and we were making out again, better, more intense than before. Her hands were clawing at my back and at some point, the boy’s were too. And I do believe a couple other people may have joined. I didn’t know whose hands were on my back and I didn’t care. The only pair I cared about was hers and they were clutching me tighter, digging into my skin.

to be continued...

My Into to Double Submission :: By Kay

Finally! A Kay piece! It doesn't look like these will be continuing for too much longer, so enjoy while you can!

~Sin

My Double Sub
By Kay

Wednesday’s session was extremely out of the ordinary.

I’d asked him before about double submissive scenes, expressing a great interest in doing some if he would allow it. He told me I needed to learn the basics first, but once I had a grasp on those, he would definitely bring someone in.

He called me up around ten and asked if I still wished to play. He informed me that there was currently a group gathered at his house, but if I wished to play I could still head over. So my roommate and I went down there and there was indeed a rather large group gathered. I met another one of his submissives, a really sweet girl full of lots of energy and hugs.

I got hugs from a few more people, people I’d met the night I had my first session but hadn’t seen since. They’re amazing people really. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. Again though, this is just the people I’ve met, most of whom are college students just trying to find a place in the world.

We chatted casually for a bit before deciding to head to the dungeon, at which point he informed me that another girl there wished to nibble on a girl and he inquired as to whether or not I was up for that. You can bet your ass I was.

Until we got down to the dungeon.

She was quick to enter subspace so he sat her on a bench at the back while he worked me towards it.

Again I was finding it immensely difficult. He had me down in the first/submissive position and just as I was about to slip into subspace, just as he was calming me, guess what he says? “Undress.”

You know that part where you’re not supposed to look at your Master? That went out the window in about two seconds. My head snapped up so fast and I just stared at him, eyes wide, mouth open. I’m sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.

This got me a stern “Why are you looking at me?”

I believe at this point all I managed to do was blink.

“You’re still looking at me.”

I blinked again before I finally shot up from the floor, grabbing his arm, I said something along the lines of “Um, can we talk?” And I led him to the far end of the dungeon and I believe I just blinked at him some more.

He gazed into my eyes and somehow he calmed me down, telling me that everything would be okay. I think I was still so close to the edge of subspace that he was able to easily get me into it and he finally told me that he would have her undress with me so I wasn’t doing it alone. For some odd reason, I was okay with that.

So needless to say, we undressed, handing our clothes to our Master. He realized that I was still not in subspace and he thus set about helping me to enter it. He allowed me to pick any manner of flogger/whip that I wished to play with and he had me bend over the table, setting fifteen strokes on my back, rather gentler than he normally would, as I was not in subspace and it would have hurt immensely if he’d used his usual force.

I finally managed to slip into subspace and the two of us were then informed that we would be suspended together. WOW. Just WOW.

He told us, then, that we were allowed to make-out, but only if he was whipping one of us. If he stopped, we had to stop, otherwise we would be punished.

He walked around us, swishing the whip menacingly before he laid it on us. A few strokes on one, a few strokes on the other. Man, she’s a really good kisser.

Our bodies pressed harder together as we arched into each other, away from the pain. The more intense the pain, the more our bodies pressed together and the harder it was to make-out.

At some point, he told us that we were now allowed to make out whenever we wished so it pretty much became make-out time when we weren’t whipped because we were panting too heavily whenever the whip fell on us to really do much of anything.

On one of his rounds around our bodies, I accidentally looked at him. Normally, I am very good about not looking at him, but for some odd reason it was hard this time. I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I had boobs pressed in my face and I wasn’t too keen on staring am them the whole time. So I looked to the side just as he happened to walk by. I didn’t even mean to look at him. I didn’t even want to. I just didn’t want to look at boobs.

Regardless, he stepped behind me, pulling my hair aside, murmuring in my ear. He told me that while he could not punish me for looking at him earlier because we had not discussed some things, I’d looked at him just now.

And he stated that he would give me twenty-five flogs for it. He started with nine, but my hands were beginning to feel numb so I cried out and told him as much. He adjusted them, adding a length of chain to the hook so I had more to hold on to and a little bit more leeway.

He then began his rounds around us again, stating that in his dungeon, we were to share punishments equally, so for looking at him, my sister (When speaking to one of us, he referred to the other as our ‘sister submissive’ or ‘sister.’) would also receive her twenty-five. I immediately proclaimed that he should not punish her for what I did and that I would take her share. I couldn’t even begin to tell you why I blurted that, but I did. No joke. He asked, then, if it meant that I would take fifty. I told him yes, but then after a brief pause, I stated that I would take her punishment, but only if she wished it. He asked her if she would take her share and she said yes. So I was let off the hook. Thank God.

Well he seemed to forget (thought probably not on accident) that I had already received nine, and thus he started on me again. He did the same crisscross motion that he has done during previous lessons, meaning four times the impacts. He gave me ten strokes, then moved around and gave her ten. I don’t quite remember how he laid the rest of the strokes, but I do know that at some point, he was beside us, whipping us both at the same time.

When he finished that again, I realized my hands were once again going numb and instead of fixing it, he decided to end our suspension time. He unhooked my arms and I nearly felt like I was going to fall off the tire. I’m terrified of heights so even though it was only a foot off the ground, I started hyperventilating.

He grabbed me from behind and held me, telling me I was safe, that he wouldn’t let me fall. He told me to wrap my arms around my sister’s waist and then he proceeded to let go, at which point I freaked out again. He unhooked one of her arms so that she was able to hold me and she kissed my head and whispered that it was going to be okay.

He unhooked her other arm and she wrapped it around me, continuing to whisper as he unhooked our legs. He lifted me off of the tire and set me on the ground where I regained my balance and calmed.

I was surprised to find myself very…wet (for lack of a better, more pristine term) as I stood in the middle of the floor, waiting for instruction.

And this is where things got super fun. It was time for sensation play! My favorite!

I asked him how he wished me to lay on the table and he told me to choose. I said I wished to lay on my stomach as I rather like things being done to my back, at which point he informed me that if I laid on my back, he would allow my sister to play with my nipples. So I lay on my back.

He brought out the blindfold, the one that blocks out any manner of light and keeps your eyes shut. After it was secured, he then informed me that he was proud of me today and that he would now allow me to be collared. He also said that because he was so proud of me, I would be allowed to wear the collar whenever I entered his dungeon. I love that damn collar.

It’s like a regular dog collar, only heavier and when I’m in subspace, the clasp feels so cold against my skin. It’s amazing.

At this point he pulled out various implements, allowing my sister to use some as well. There were moments in time when I was unable to tell who was doing what. The only very obvious one was when he used the leather gloves, manhandling my body.

And he was definitely using the satin scarf because she would definitely not have wrapped it over my mouth the way he did. I don’t know why I find it so erotic to be unable to speak, to have my moans muffled.

At some point, he gave her permission to begin teasing my nipples and she leaned down, suckling on them gently, grazing her teeth over them.

He asked me if I liked watching a girl orgasm and I told him very truthfully that I didn’t know, as I had never seen it (I’ve only ever had one serious girlfriend and the sex was, well, bland.). He then asked if I wished to watch it and for reasons I don’t even know, I said “I guess.”

He left to set up the Sybian, the giant vibrator that I believe he said is somewhere around 18 horsepower. I know it was in the teens.

My sister was allowed to continue playing with me and let me tell you, she’s damn good at using some of those implements. I believe at this point, the only one she used was the tiny hammer with the five pins in the head.

And the most erotic part? It got to the point where my breaths became dependent on the hammer’s contact with my skin. I let out a quiet pant each time it fell, becoming still as soon as it lifted. And these were nothing more than quick taps each.

When he finished setting it up, he gave her instructions as to how she was to sit on it. As they weren’t directed at me, I was barely paying attention. What I do know is that he put her on the one that’s mean specifically for stimulating the clit.

I was to position myself on my knees behind her, doing what I could to help her orgasm as she rode the Sybian (It literally is riding. It’s a large hump on the ground that you straddle and then it vibrates with you on it. It’s really freaky.). Basically this consisted of sitting behind her, planting kisses on her back, my arms wrapped around her torso, my hands playing with her nipples.

I can safely tell you that I was out of subspace by this point and frankly I was feeling nothing whatsoever. I don’t think my Master realized I was no longer in subspace, but he should realize that any talk of orgasm or sexual activity immediately snaps me out of it. My mind has some sort of trigger words or something, little mental red flags that tell me I need to be on my guard, something highly impossible if still in subspace.

So the thought of being naked, pressed against her, no longer turned me on because in the real world (a.k.a. outside subspace) this girl just doesn’t turn me on. It’s nothing against her, it’s just a fact of life. And I’m actually almost positive I don’t turn her on either. Which begs the question why I agreed to this in the first place?

For some odd reason, I was compelled to allow this activity to continue. She was still in subspace and I mean I decided to just play along. It wouldn’t really have been fair to her to cut it short. Though I’m not so sure it was fair to continue in such a disinterested manner either.

So she rode it to orgasm (Although he would not allow her to orgasm until she asked him and if she merely said ‘please’ he promised that he would shut the machine off and not let her orgasm at all.). Then I was told to move around the front and the process was repeated.

The third time, he told me I was to determine when she was allowed to orgasm and she had to look me in the eyes while she did. Let me just say that it was VERY hard not to look at HIM at this point. I thought this was rather ridiculous, but I played along, although not for very long. I made her wait like a minute before I let her orgasm, stating merely “Cum for me” in a hushed voice as she rode it out.

And then I held her and kissed her when she finished. It just seemed appropriate.

Don't forget, for full, unedited posts, stop by Kay's blog; A Life Beneath. Until next time, have fun and play safe! <3

~Sin

My First Lesson :: by Kay

Dear reader, I'd like to mention that this piece is not edited very much at all. It's been edited and shortened just a bit, but I decided not to edit much of this part because of how much information and terminology it contains. I think this is a greatly erotic and educational part, so I decided it would be better to leave it whole, offering you as much as possible. It is a good post though, so please do enjoy.

~Sin

My First Lesson

Part Two of the Submission by Kay series.

My first lesson started rather unexpectedly. After we’d discussed various manners of items on the shelves and he tested my reaction to various levels of whips and sharp implements, he decided it was time to show me the positions.

There are six basic positions that all reputable dominants use. They are all numbered and named, but I am going to be completely honest and say that the only one that I remember right now is the first position, the submissive position. I remember the names of all the others and how to do them, but I won’t know if he gives me a numbered command and that honestly scares the hell out of me.

What I do know is that the first position is on your knees, bottom seated on your feet, head turned down so that you are looking at your Master/Mistresses knees if they are standing right in front of you. Dominants vary as to where they want the hands positioned. Some say hands clasped behind the back. My Master believes this to be a position that is far too relaxed so he has me clasp my hands behind my neck. Oh and I almost forgot, my knees have to be separated, spread slightly to keep my crotch open- a vulnerability thing I believe. And of course, my posture has to be perfect; neat and erect.

The other positions, in no particular order (as I have said I do not remember the order) are present your breasts, present your crotch, present your ass, present your mouth, and present your back.

Present your breasts is a fun one. I kind of rather like that one. You get down as if you were going into submissive position, except knees are clamped together, feet are crossed at the ankles and your bottom is not resting on your feet. You stick your chest out as far as you can, placing your breasts on display for your Master/Mistresses review and of course for various activities and possible nipple clamping. For this one he has me keep my hands on my neck…I think…Oh shit.

Present your crotch is not one I am particularly fond of, nor is it one that I remember very well. So as soon as I relearn it, I will explain what it is and I will probably tell you the punishment that I end up receiving for not remembering my lessons.

Present your ass is when you get down on your knees. Clasp your fingers together and lay your palms on the floor. Rest your head on your hands so that you are unable to see your Master/Mistress unless they walk within your limited area of peripheral vision and stick your ass out as far into the air as you can. I don’t really like my ass so this position may not end up very high on my list of favorite things to do during lessons.

Present your mouth is another one I don’t remember. Shit. Shit. Shit. I believe I need to research on the internet. What I do know is that you open your mouth as wide as you can…vertically, never horizontally, to show off what a pretty mouth you have and to allow your Dominant to place a gag in your mouth. I do know that it requires the same hand position as present your ass…at least I think it does. Ok well I know you have to keep your eyes shut.

Present your back is very similar to present your ass. Hands clasped, head on hands. Your knees, however, are pressed all the way up so that they touch your hands and your back is arched as nicely in the air as you are able to get it. As I have scoliosis, I do not believe my Master will be using this position very often. Actually that’s a bit of a shame, as I love things being done to my back and I know that would be a good receiving position.

Then came wax play. He told me to stand and remove my shirt and my bra. I was hesitant, but I did as I was told, learning a new lesson in the process: Always take care of your clothes. I was to fold them neatly and hand them to him. Oh and of course my eyes were downcast. You are not to look at your Master unless you have permission and trust me, that is very rare permission to receive.

He cuffed my ankles and wrists to the table. He also allowed me to wear a heavy collar, a cool, large, metal ring clamped tightly around my neck. (And you must always thank your Master when they collar you. It is a very high privilege.)

We moved up three more levels I believe. I actually kind of lost count after a while. Subspace is intense. (Subspace is the area of your head you go into to be able to deal with that kind of pain and take it as pleasure. You lose yourself in your mind, concentrating not on what happened, or on what will happen, but what is happening at that exact moment, nothing more.) So each layer burned worse, even though there was already a nice coat of wax on my back by the time he got to the hottest. Mind you, the ‘beginner’ candle came after two of his own and it still burned. But he was proud of me for making it to that level and he allowed me to move up one more step. Which is where I finally said the ‘safe word.’

(For those of you who don’t know, it is absolutely necessary to have a ‘safe word’ in a relationship of this nature so that if your pain threshold is pushed too far, you can call things to a stop before it reaches a dangerous level. Never use the word ‘stop’, as it is a word people will naturally say when in pain and do not always mean. ‘Red’ is usually used to mean that the pain has become too much and you want that level to stop, but you do not want the activity to cease altogether.)

He clutched me and said “You are safe.” At this point, mind you, I was panting slightly and I had to calm down a bit because the pain had reached that slightly unbearable level.

He knew I liked knife play and he was planning to remove the wax with a knife, but as I had said the ‘safe word’ he asked if I still wanted him to. Of course I did. It felt amazing, feeling the cool blade on my back after the heat of the wax. I wanted to shiver, but at the same time I was just so…warm.

We fell into a silence as he worked, his hands working in tandem with the blade to ease the wax off my back. In all honesty, it felt like I’d just gotten a massage, the heat having eased all the tension from my body. Not to mention the fact that I felt like I was in this Zen-like mode, all thoughts gone, barely hearing the dull hum of the water heater nearby.

When he finished with the knife, he ran a scrubber over my back. It felt like sandpaper across my sensitive back but it felt so good, in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain. Who knew something that felt like sandpaper could cause my body to ache with a certain hunger.

Wow, thinking on it, I know he did a few more things, but I really cannot remember the order he went in. I do know that he ran a wheeled, jagged blade over my back and it felt like a constant knife over my skin, sharp against the sensitive heat he had already created. (Mind you, he had run that blade across my skin before in the introductory phase, and it felt no worse than a cat scratch. It was amazing how much it was intensified by the heat.) He also blew across my back, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise, my body wishing to arch against the bondage as I whimpered softly. I remember my eye lids fluttering shut, the feel like a cool breeze after an excruciatingly hot day.

And then he whipped me with his middle intensity whip. Ten strokes and I had to count them out loud and thank him after each one. I winced as the leather hit my back, realizing that I did wish to thank him for being so kind to me, for allowing me to feel the things I wanted to feel and some things I didn’t even know I wanted to feel until he fulfilled the silent requests for me.

I’ve never felt so vulnerable in my life. And yet I’ve never felt so safe.

When we finished, we had Cool Down time, a necessary part of any good Dom/Sub relationship. It is a time to bring the submissive back from subspace, to ease their mind back into the world, out of their heads, their place of such intense vulnerability.

He wrapped me in a blanket and led me upstairs. At this point, my friend joined us again and we all cuddled on the couch, my friend wrapped tightly around me, purring in my ear, nuzzling against my side, both of them making sure I felt safe. Just safe. And eventually my mind did ease back into the real world, to coherent thoughts and time slipped by so quickly. I’d been in subspace for nearly two hours and Cool Down time was about that long, but each felt like nothing more than ten minutes. Which makes me wonder what time really is.

Continued next week with The Second Session...

Don't forget to check out Kay's full blog: A Life Beneath.

Related Posts: Beginning a Journey, Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Whips and Chains Excite Me

Beginning a Journey :: by Kay

**Editor's Note:: I think it's important to mention that Kay has not always been in the "BDSM" culture or lifestyle. While we have often discussed and debated about the sexual elements since we met, it is something she has sort of fallen into. Every person interested in BDSM has started, lived, and continued or stopped participated in their activities for different reasons. Sometimes it's an innate longing, sometimes curiosity, force, etc. There is no right way, there are no (or very few) wrong ways, and as Bell said so wonderfully, everyone is unique and beautiful and they're meant to be that way.

Anyway. Here is post #1, and from now on I'll post one from her every Sunday afternoon. Enjoy! <3>

Intro, Of Sorts
by Kay
Part One of the Submission by Kay series.

Here is what I know:

For the longest time I was a cutter. In a very loose sense of the word. I never broke the skin. There was just something about dragging the sharp edge of something along my bare flesh that filled a part of me. My physical pain, I found, had the ability to match my emotional pain. I had concrete evidence that I was, indeed, hurting. But it was evidence only for myself. I had scratches on my body, sure, but they were in places that I could easily cover with clothing. No one else could know. Unless I wanted them to. And a part of me wanted them to make the effort to discover those scratches, but no one ever did. So my outlet was temporary because after a while, the fact that no one ever noticed began to cause me more pain.

I began to tell people. And then I realized that I was having to defend my status as a “cutter.” I didn’t break skin. My injuries meant nothing. While self-inflicted, they meant nothing compared to the many people who drew blood. Who made scars. I was never one for blood.

But I kept doing it, kept dragging sharp edges across the skin, my tears stopping as I felt a jagged edge dragged across my thigh.

And then one day it just went too far. I won’t get into the details because I’m sure you’d rather not know them. Personally, I’d rather not know them but it’s something I’m forced to live with.

At any rate, I tried rather unsuccessfully to slit my wrist with a razor but I chickened out when the skin broke. It stung too much. So instead I downed a bottle of pills, then ran down the hall to get help.

And suddenly people cared. People wanted to know why.

And that was when I stopped knowing why.

I went to a therapist. And even now, almost two years later, I’m still seeing the same woman. And I’ve still barely scratched the surface of my problems. Pun intended.

A few weeks ago I moved in to my new place.

I had a huge fight with my parents the day I was slated to move out and it ended with me in tears, practically hyperventilating as I sped down the road, my car loaded with all manner of boxes.

My roommate invited her friend over that night. We started talking about sex, as my friends and I are very open about our sex lives and our preferences in the bedroom (in fact, the few that know about this endeavor of mine are very supportive of it!).

I don’t know how the subject came up, I mean specifically…I know how it eventually came up, knowing my friends the way I do. At any rate, I mentioned at some point that I enjoy knife play. Which, at that point in time was a lie. Not a complete lie. I rather did like the idea of knife play. I’d just never…played…before.

Let’s just say the night got better as the guy pulled his knife out and began to drag it across my skin. I’d never felt anything like it. I mean…I had, obviously as I’d formerly done stuff like it to myself…but it was something completely new now. It felt different to have someone else in control of the blade, to control how long it dragged or where it dragged. And I found it highly, highly erotic.

He dragged it over my nipples, over my stomach, my neck, pressing the cool blade into my skin, leaving beautiful pink scratch marks in its wake, marks that I would begin to feel alarmingly proud of.

He tied my wrists together and I found myself unable to clutch anything, barely able to writhe comfortably as he continued to drag that blade. And it was even more erotic. My body felt hot, the space between my legs aching terribly. Pain had become pleasure.

He came back a couple days later, his manner more forceful, pressing me against walls, slamming my face into the bed, tugging my hair. But the more he did, the more I began to enjoy myself. It was intense. It was insane. And it felt so wrong that it began to feel so right. He gave me more scratch marks and this time, I found them accompanied by nice blue bruises, some of those bruises still visible even now.

I was hooked.

Days later, my roommate took me to a friend’s house. She’d told me a lot about him and his girlfriend and the lifestyle they have. His girlfriend and my roommate are like sisters and she gladly showed me their “dungeon,” a basement with a large table at one end and all manner of suspension gear along the other, not to mention an entire wall lined with shelves covered in any manner of toys and devices necessary for their lifestyle.

Later that night, I got into a discussion with her boyfriend and I found myself practically drooling at the thought of working with them. I asked if he would train me and he readily agreed to, offering to go ahead and take me down to the basement for further discussion, including in depth descriptions of the toys and implements.

Later, there was more.

To be continued...(next Sunday)...

**This is an edited version of Kay's first post on her new blog, A Life Beneath. For the full version (not much is cut out, but there are more posts) you're welcome to visit her blog.

Or just stop by here next Sunday for her next post, "My First Lesson".**

clone it

"Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Whips and Chains Excite Me"

A Quick Introduction to the World of BDSM

Book of the Day: You Know You Love It : Lessons in Sexual Mischief :: by Ilona Paris

Movie of the Day: Secretary :: Starring Maggie Gyllenhal and James Spader


The world of Sex and Sexuality is a vast and incomprehensibly interesting universe.
Likes, dislikes, fantasies, cultures, subcultures, fetishes, sexual orientations, and preferences, as well as the lack-there-of of all of the above and so so much more, make it one of the most eclectic topics in modern (and historical) culture.

It's not particularly often that I bring up subjects of fetishes, fantasies, or subcultures of sex. They tend to be complicated and take quite a bit of work to explain. But today, I'm taking a stab (haha) at one of my favorite fetishes/subcultures: BDSM.

For starters, BDSM stands for several things, depending on who you're asking. Respectively, it stands for some variation of Bondage and Discipline/Domination and Submission/Sadism and Masochism.

So lets break down the very very basic basics of what these each stand for.
Bondage: Being tied up. That's the down and dirty basic. Bondage as in Bonds. Being tied up, cuffed, roped, whatever.
Discipline: Being spanked. This is ...well...being disciplined.
Domination: Being on top. This is essentially dominating your partner in one way or another, whoever that may be.
Submission: Being on bottom. This is typically submitting to your partner. Enduring pain, bondage, humiliation, and all sorts of strange offenses that normally be horrid.
Sadism: Slapping and enjoying it. Based on the legendary Marquis De Sade, this is gaining pleasure from giving pain (whether that be physical of mental).
Masochism: Being slapped and enjoying it. The opposite of sadism, masochism is gaining pleasure from receiving pain.

Now, these things get a lot more complicated, and are defined and carried out in a million different ways by a million different people. Yes, I said a million. Its really millions. These pleasures are far more common than you think.
Think about it. What turns you on? Nibbling on each others lips? Nails down your back? Little extra roughness during sex?
These little things are little degrees of bondage, masochism, and domination.
There are, of course, many people who those things aren't enough for.

I've always had a quaint fascination with the BDSM world. My particular niche is the idea of being owned. Tied up, collared, punished, and, most of all, taken care of.

I recently bought a pair of fur lined leather wrist cuffs (not hand cuffs; I can't stand fuzzy handcuffs), and I adore them. Coal (my bf, W, in case I haven't mentioned the name change yet) puts them on me every morning, and takes them off every night. I'm only allowed to take them off for work and modeling (and cleaning or showering). It took a while for him to grasp what it was I wanted with all of this, but little by little he's understanding my want (and need) to be taken care of, almost as if I were a pet.

I'm sure it seems odd, but to me, seeing him put on the cuffs makes me feel owned in a way that lets me feel protected, wanted, and loved. Once in a while he bathes me, or dresses me, or other simple tasks, and when he asks me to do something, I do it (9 times out of 10 anyway...).
It isn't like I can't take care of myself (hell, he can barely take care of himself, I'm better at it), it's just this sweet, sensual feeling I get from being taken care of. And occasionally from small levels of inflicted pain.

This is a very simple, very basic form of a Dominance/Submission relationship. I'd like it to grow into more in the future, but right now we're taking little steps.

But there are so many higher, more complicated, more dangerous levels of BDSM. From knife play and hot wax to flogging and whipping, to suspension and chains, to asphyxiation, humiliation, and nipple clamps, to so so so much more. There are so many fetishes, subcultures, and ways to "play" that you'd be hard put to actually name most of them.

In the future I hope to eventually talk more about the culture and subcultures of BDSM, but for now I just wanted to give you this basic introduction, and introduce my new (and first) Guest Writer.

My friend Kay just started taking "classes" in Submission. She just started, but so far her experiences have been interesting, and her appreciation seems genuine. She recently started a Blog to journal her thoughts, sessions, and overall journey in this little area of the sexual world, so I invited her to post some of her writings here in Sin's Secret as a sort of weekly guest entry.

My hope is that this will do several things. One, is give Sin's Secret some more varied content, which I think is important, and a new, outside voice. Two, is give an inside view into something that most people aren't familiar with, so that maybe some of you readers might find something new to learn, create an understanding of, and maybe even try out some time ;-). Three, is to add a bit of spice in here. I know that now and then my posts can be pretty dull, and occasionally talk about some dull topics. This Guest Writer would mean that there'd be something strange, new, and interesting every week or so for readers to follow and enjoy.

So, the next post up will be Kay's initial introduction piece, to start her off.

Until next time!
<3
Sin