Big Guy, Little Girl - Some Advice

For those of you looking for my Conversation/Podcast-y thingy (thank you ^0^) You can find a recording of it in the widget to the right. And on the night of the shows you can listen directly from the widget, or click on the title on the widget, it'll take you straight to the site where you can join in.
We're not sure when the next show will be, probably next weekend (not a sunday again), and it'll probably be about Erotica (with a contest!). So make sure to check back for info. And if you plan on stopping by, let me know and I'll keep on the lookout for you!
<3

Sin,
I am a very short woman with an average build and my partner is a foot taller than I am and outweighs me by about 150 lbs. Can anyone recommend sexual positions that would minimize the awkwardness of our size differences? The more creative, the better.
Thanks!

I can think of just a few in particular that should really work for you. This also applies to most couples with height and weight differences.

1. Cowgirl (you on top). This should work regardless of the size of either of you (unless the girl is really big and the guy's really little, as said before). This gives you complete control and him the chance to relax and enjoy the view. And if you do it reverse (you facing his feet) you have lots of extra space around your pussy to use a vibrator (if the guys got a bit of a gut, using a clitoral vibe can be a bit tough).

2. Standing. The position works well with a shorter woman, when done right. Try standing up against a wall with something nearby to put a foot on. With him in front of you, have him lift you up and push you against the wall (using the stool/chair/whatever to help support you if you need it). Get high enough for him to enter you and wrap you leg/legs around him. Then go for it.
This takes some balance from you and some strength from him, but is great for those passionate, desperate love-making sessions.

3. You sitting, him standing. This is simply when you sit on a surface that's at a good height for him to enter you without having to bend his knees or stand on his toes too badly. Kitchen counters, dining room tables, and washing machines should all work pretty well.
It's good because height shouldn't really matter, and if he's a little too tall, he should be able to bend enough to enter you without too much trouble.

Doggy Style might work, but it depends on how different the height is as far as your legs go. It can be tough when your legs, thighs especially, are too close or too different in height. At least, that's how I see it.

I'm sure you're well acquainted with missionary, but if you have trouble with it because of height or size, try with your legs over his shoulders, or both legs and hips over to one side. Having your legs over the side of the bed (or anything else) might work as well. This is also true with Doggy Style, with you on your knees in front of the bed, or leaning over a table, your chest on the bed and him entering from behind.

Really, you just have to be creative. Buy a book on Sex Positions and experiment with what floats your sexy boat!

Good luck!
~Sin

Related Articles- Losing My Virginity @ 21 :: Advice for the Pre-Orgasmic :: Anal Ultimatum :: Breaking Up Is Hard to Do :: Advice to an Over-Blow-Jobed Wife :: You Want a Bath - He Wants to Jack :: Sexy Lady

(Late) Sunday Sex Position :: Running With Scissors

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Occasional Zen

I wonder, sometimes, what life would be like without sex.
Would conflicts only be fought over gods, land, and money? Satisfaction only gained through religious rituals, bungee jumping, and video games? Reproduction fulfilled by some dull, solitary act of asexual mitosis? Would food not taste as good, lacking that inherently sensual, bodily response that accompanies every luscious bite of silky, hot soups and sweet red strawberries?

What about love?
Could love not exist without the heart-throbbing drive of passion and desire?
Tightly held hands and shy pecks on the cheek are only significant in their little steps towards a much greater, longer journey into the unknown.
To me love and sex go hand in hand. Love is not necessary for sex, but it makes it so much better. And while love can often just muddle things up in sex, more often it stokes the flames of desire, and makes it all the more worth-while.

Our lives are driven by so many different kinds of passion. Would those other flames be squelched if our bodies didn't know the thrills of sexual passion?

Or would they burn brighter, without the distractions of carnal pleasures.

"...from what I've tasted of desire, I hold with those who favor fire." ~Robert Frost

Have fun, play safe.
~Sin Secret

Beginning a Journey :: by Kay

**Editor's Note:: I think it's important to mention that Kay has not always been in the "BDSM" culture or lifestyle. While we have often discussed and debated about the sexual elements since we met, it is something she has sort of fallen into. Every person interested in BDSM has started, lived, and continued or stopped participated in their activities for different reasons. Sometimes it's an innate longing, sometimes curiosity, force, etc. There is no right way, there are no (or very few) wrong ways, and as Bell said so wonderfully, everyone is unique and beautiful and they're meant to be that way.

Anyway. Here is post #1, and from now on I'll post one from her every Sunday afternoon. Enjoy! <3>

Intro, Of Sorts
by Kay
Part One of the Submission by Kay series.

Here is what I know:

For the longest time I was a cutter. In a very loose sense of the word. I never broke the skin. There was just something about dragging the sharp edge of something along my bare flesh that filled a part of me. My physical pain, I found, had the ability to match my emotional pain. I had concrete evidence that I was, indeed, hurting. But it was evidence only for myself. I had scratches on my body, sure, but they were in places that I could easily cover with clothing. No one else could know. Unless I wanted them to. And a part of me wanted them to make the effort to discover those scratches, but no one ever did. So my outlet was temporary because after a while, the fact that no one ever noticed began to cause me more pain.

I began to tell people. And then I realized that I was having to defend my status as a “cutter.” I didn’t break skin. My injuries meant nothing. While self-inflicted, they meant nothing compared to the many people who drew blood. Who made scars. I was never one for blood.

But I kept doing it, kept dragging sharp edges across the skin, my tears stopping as I felt a jagged edge dragged across my thigh.

And then one day it just went too far. I won’t get into the details because I’m sure you’d rather not know them. Personally, I’d rather not know them but it’s something I’m forced to live with.

At any rate, I tried rather unsuccessfully to slit my wrist with a razor but I chickened out when the skin broke. It stung too much. So instead I downed a bottle of pills, then ran down the hall to get help.

And suddenly people cared. People wanted to know why.

And that was when I stopped knowing why.

I went to a therapist. And even now, almost two years later, I’m still seeing the same woman. And I’ve still barely scratched the surface of my problems. Pun intended.

A few weeks ago I moved in to my new place.

I had a huge fight with my parents the day I was slated to move out and it ended with me in tears, practically hyperventilating as I sped down the road, my car loaded with all manner of boxes.

My roommate invited her friend over that night. We started talking about sex, as my friends and I are very open about our sex lives and our preferences in the bedroom (in fact, the few that know about this endeavor of mine are very supportive of it!).

I don’t know how the subject came up, I mean specifically…I know how it eventually came up, knowing my friends the way I do. At any rate, I mentioned at some point that I enjoy knife play. Which, at that point in time was a lie. Not a complete lie. I rather did like the idea of knife play. I’d just never…played…before.

Let’s just say the night got better as the guy pulled his knife out and began to drag it across my skin. I’d never felt anything like it. I mean…I had, obviously as I’d formerly done stuff like it to myself…but it was something completely new now. It felt different to have someone else in control of the blade, to control how long it dragged or where it dragged. And I found it highly, highly erotic.

He dragged it over my nipples, over my stomach, my neck, pressing the cool blade into my skin, leaving beautiful pink scratch marks in its wake, marks that I would begin to feel alarmingly proud of.

He tied my wrists together and I found myself unable to clutch anything, barely able to writhe comfortably as he continued to drag that blade. And it was even more erotic. My body felt hot, the space between my legs aching terribly. Pain had become pleasure.

He came back a couple days later, his manner more forceful, pressing me against walls, slamming my face into the bed, tugging my hair. But the more he did, the more I began to enjoy myself. It was intense. It was insane. And it felt so wrong that it began to feel so right. He gave me more scratch marks and this time, I found them accompanied by nice blue bruises, some of those bruises still visible even now.

I was hooked.

Days later, my roommate took me to a friend’s house. She’d told me a lot about him and his girlfriend and the lifestyle they have. His girlfriend and my roommate are like sisters and she gladly showed me their “dungeon,” a basement with a large table at one end and all manner of suspension gear along the other, not to mention an entire wall lined with shelves covered in any manner of toys and devices necessary for their lifestyle.

Later that night, I got into a discussion with her boyfriend and I found myself practically drooling at the thought of working with them. I asked if he would train me and he readily agreed to, offering to go ahead and take me down to the basement for further discussion, including in depth descriptions of the toys and implements.

Later, there was more.

To be continued...(next Sunday)...

**This is an edited version of Kay's first post on her new blog, A Life Beneath. For the full version (not much is cut out, but there are more posts) you're welcome to visit her blog.

Or just stop by here next Sunday for her next post, "My First Lesson".**

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Bunny Ears are the Best Ears

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Because I am a Lazy Bitch...

Okay, so here's the deal.
I haven't made a post in at LEAST two weeks, and I'm really really sorry.

Not like any of you really care if I make a post today, tomorrow, or next month, but whatever. I should be more responsible and quit being lazy and write my stuff. I just should.

I have nothing to talk about tonight, so here's the deal. I'm just here to let you know that I am still alive and haven't forgotten about my little blip of the inter-webs.

*I finally got my Eden Fantasy's assignment toy last week, and am currently working on the review for it. It's my first authorized free-toy review, so I want it to be awesome. I'll let you know when that's up and give you a different spin on it.

*I haven't read any good sex books lately, mostly because I'm just sort of sexed out. I still love to talk about it, give advice, and learn about it, but reading about it takes too much damned effort.
I'm currently reading the fourth book in the fictional series Kushiel's Legacy, which is a series with a lot of sex in it (and its just plain fucking awesome), but no new memoirs or instructional books at the moment. Money's hopefully going to be better this semester, so maybe that'll change soon enough. A book on sensual massage would be good. Right?

*I haven't had a Position up in for-fucking-ever, so I'll try to get one up within the next two weeks. Summer's just been really really weird and busy and miserable, but maybe the fall will bring back a little bit of my libido.

*Did I ever mention that I think I figured out my orgasm problem? Well, I think I did. It's a little bit of a biological, physical mishap, and I'm hoping a good GYN will help me fix it. More on that another time.

*I'm currently looking for Guest Bloggers for Sin's Secret. With how busy I'm going to be this semester, I'd love to have a couple guests put in some input. Whether it's my wonderful fellow bloggers that I love so much, or just a reader who has something he/she feels should be included. It could be a full article or whatever you'd like. Just email me (sinsekret@gmail.com) and let me know if you're interested. We can work something out.

I think that's all for now, really. Should have the Toy Review up on Wednesday, and have more news and interesting stuff up by the weekend.

<3
Sin

"Stormy's SlimLine" Review Posted

Currently Reading: The Guide To Getting It On

Two "finally!"s from EdenFantasys today.

First, my first Toy assignment was finally approved and it'll be shipped soon (I hope). It's a mini rabbit vibrator (like a full rabbit but without the insertable part).
Be assured you'll be told all about it when it gets here!

Second, finally posted a new review after buying a new toy the other day with W. It's a simple Slim Vibrator made my Wicked Essentials and California Exotic, and having the line name of Porn Actress "Stormy", with a sleek shape and classy silver look. Unfortunately it's not very powerful at all and definitely isn't my favorite. Wasn't at all strong enough for couples play, and took forever when I tried it solo.

But it'd still be great for you to check out the Review and drop me a comment if you'd like (either here or there; whatever). Especially if you've used it and have something to say about it too.

Did I mention I got my first sexual proposal last week? It was interesting.

"i would love to buy you a vibrator and watch u use it. or even better help you use it xxx"

This, of course, was after I posted a whole bunch of things begging for a vibrator. Of course I said no; A. I'm not single, B. I don't do this to get laid, C. I don't pick up people online. But still, it was amusing and kind of cute and (in a way) weirdly flattering.

I know this is a short post, but I figure the long review should keep you busy. I'll be back (hopefully) Friday with something more fun and interesting ^-^.

<3>

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Position of the Week %

Currently Reading: Sex Detox: Recharge Desire. Revitalize Intimacy. Rejuvenate Your Love Life. by Ian Kerner, Ph.D.

Quick Disclaimer: Typically I try to keep my images as PG-13 as possible, because I want this site to be about fun and information, not porn. Due to a lack of availability, however, today's pictures do contain nudity, so I'm telling you ahead of time. So now you know.

The Side Clasp
Also called: Modified T-Square

I couldn't wait to get her on the bed and get her clothes off. She slipped off her dress, and pulled off what was left of my clothes. For a second, we were just two naked people, able to see each others physical inadequacies. But only for a second.
Before too long we were on each other again. She pushed her lips to mine and jerked my head so fast and hard I though I'd have whiplash. My wild woman.
I finally pushed her onto her back and that's where we started. She watched as I rolled her hips to the side. Her eyes following my every motion until I was inside her. Then they closed, a sigh falling from her lips.
I rocked back and forth inside her like the ocean, and every exhale she made was as sweet as a song. I placed my hand on her ass and she made the sexiest moan as I dragged my nails down the meat of her thigh.
The noise made me thrust harder, and her gasps came faster.
Harder.
Faster.
Harder.
Faster.
It seemed almost endless. But it wasn't. Before too long, it was over. We cried out almost in unison, our breath evenly paced as I trembled inside her. She smiled sweetly, and I simply collapsed next to her.

~Coal Confidential (W.)

Directions:

*Woman (or receiving partner) lays down, legs bent at a right angle to one side. She should be positioned in a way that from above she looks an L, or one part of a swastika. Whatever.
*(or penetrating partner) kneels in front of her, pelvic bones about at the same level, and enters her (wherever).
-She'll probably have to open her legs a bit to let him in, but then she should squeeze them together good and snug.
Then you go at it.

This one has its ups and downs. The position is a bit awkward, but not uncomfortable.
Overall, here's the deal:

This is good for a guy whose size is above average, because the penetration isn't all that deep. In guides it says penetration is deeper than usual, but in practice, it was quite the opposite.
That, however, is mostly because the guy the girls hip bone bumping up against his pelvis/stomach and getting in the way. So for a "larger" guy with a smaller girl, it keeps penetration for him pretty shallow, but she still feels like it's a deeper thrust. But for a guy who's average or less, this probably would just keep him from getting the full feeling of being inside, plus bug the hell out of him.

(By the way, I could barely find any information or picture for this position, so the images are pretty much whatever I could find close enough to match more or less.)

In practice I (we) wasn't too fond of this position, and ended up switching out pretty quickly. The penetration wasn't deep enough for in a good enough angle that I felt it nearly enough, and W found it hard to feel enough as well because of the pressure of my ass bone grinding into his pelvis. It also doesn't allow for the use of a vibrator, because the woman's legs are pressed together (although the closed thighs can provide extra tightness for the guys-that's good), which is another bummer. Even a vibrating cock-ring wouldn't work right unless it was turned to the side, and that could be awkward.
But, as with most positions, with the right amount of practice and communication, I'm sure it's very possible to make it work for you and your partner.


That's pretty much it for tonight. This wasn't a particularly interesting or successful position, so I'm a bit empty on things to say. Hope this was worth the 5 minutes you spent reading it.

Tried this position? Loved it? Hated it? Made it better? Let me know!
I want to hear about all your trials, tribulations, crazy nights, and mundane experiences!
Email me at SinSekret@gmail.com or add me on Facebook, Myspace, or AIM!

Play safe!
<3


Related Posts: Postion of the Week Numero !, PotW @, PotW #, PotW $

The pen, being mightier than the prick...

I love to read. Well, I used to. Now I'm too lazy. But normally, I love to read. Normally, my genre is fantasy and teen fiction (my guilty pleasure), but a bit before Sin's Secret began I was suddenly all about sex. Sexual memoirs, guides, humor, if it had sex in it (and was non-fiction) I was all for it.
So heres a list of a few of the books I've read in the past few months, with little bits of reviews to show you what it's like, how it went, and what I thought of it. Today, we'll just start with three or four.

Belle De Jour; Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl ::by:: Anonymous

My second Sexual Memoir ever, this one grabbed me and pulled me along (by my hair) the whole was through. I mean, with the first sentence being "The first thing you should know is that I'm a whore.", you know you're in for a good ride.
That went on into the Prologue where Belle explains how she got into the "escort" business after college, including her very first "job" with a married couple. The book pretty much follows her diary/blog for about a year, including friends, family, relationships, shags, and- of course- clients.
It's hot. And fun.

Jeudi, le 4 decembre

There is someone in London who just paid to lick the pucker of my arse for one hour. Isn't that what everyone really wants in life, someone who'll kiss your grits and enjoy it?
If someone had only told me from the outset such perfect clients existed, I would have jumped in straightaway.

I give it an 8/10
And, in case you were wondering, this is now a BBC show (but coming to Showtime this new season I believe) starring Billie Piper (of Dr. Who). It's well done as well. Over dramatized, of course, but its fun to watch, and Piper has a gorgeous body in it.

The Walk of Shame; the Survival Guide ::by:: Robin Anderton and Jay Desario

I BookMooched this out of curiosity, and it turned out a bit differently than expected.
It's really a comedy book, barely serious in the least. Tells you what kind of Slut you are, what your signature drink should be, the best times of year to carry out a Walk of Shame, and what/who to avoid when you do so.
Definitely funny. Worth the read in a humor kind of way. Seems like something you'd bring to a E.R. or something, to keep your mind off the fact that you've been there for three hours and your bleeding out of your ears (speaking of which, I must tell you about my first visit to the Health Dept soon).
I give it a 8/10 in a different category than Belle De Jour. Not the best, but worth reading for a lot of laughs and a few obscure definitions.

Drink of Choice: Wine

If you're a college student, wine might seem a tad "adult" for your purposes. In fact, it's the ideal drink for you. First of all, it's cheap: a jug of delicious Gallo Rhine rarely costs more than ten dollars. Second of all, it'll leave you with a much more manageable hangover than many of the alternatives. Third, it will lead you to have joyous group sex with a bunch of comparative literature majors while someone prances around you in a circle, declaiming selections from "Howl". If you're in grad school, wine's power is even more pronounced: you will finally get with that guy everyone in your program thinks is totally hot but totally gay.

The Little Book of Kama Sutra Positions ::by:: Ann Summers

This probably wasn't worth the $10 it cost, but may be worth it if you can find it at a good discount.
This tiny hardcover book starts out exploring both male and female bodies, their erogenous zones, and the spiritual lessons and techniques of Kama Sutra. After that, it gives directions, tips, and well done photos of quite a few positions, starting from the easiest and going up in difficulty.
It's not a bad book, but not the best either. A good resource for basic Kama Sutra information (not too much spirituality, if that's not what you're looking for), with some pretty neat positions. I'd recommend this one if you can find it for a low enough price. (I think the lowest one on Amazon is about $6.50, which isn't too bad, I think.)
I give it a 6/10. Useful, especially for it's size, but not the best.

The Elephant Posture:
Great for...This is great for the man who likes to be in control. Penetration stimulates her G-spot. She can barely move because of the weight of her lover. Many women find this lack of control incredibly arousing.
Tantric Tip: This was inspired by the mating patterns of the elephants of India, which isn't the most obviously erotic image for modern lovers- however, the thrill of this position is timeless. Unleash your inner wild animal and howl and loudly and passionately as you both can.
21st Century Twist: This is great for a little light spanking, which as well as being a naughty thrill, also gets blood flowing to the whole pelvic region, making it even more sensitive. A light slap to the thigh with the back of a hand or a spanking paddle here can take sex in the Elephant Posture to a new dimension.

Sex and Sensibility ::edited by:: Genevieve Field

This is a female oriented book of short non-fiction stories about real women's lives. With tearful breakups and erotic one night stands, to long time haves and sexual near-misses, this is full of interesting and well-written mini-memoirs.
I picked it up expecting quite a bit more sex, so in that field I was disappointed, but it definitely didn't let down as far as interest goes. From a pair of best friends who end up in a threesome together with their new house mate, to a reporter swept away by a European Sexual Massage-Therapist, these stories (most of them) keep you reading while making you smile.

Mark greets you kindly at the airport, sweetly shows you your room, and then he shows you his, which has an antique tin ceiling, one which you spend a lot of time getting to know. Mark is the first man who has ever gone down on you .
Holy. Fucking. Christ.
Getting your pussy licked by a champ is like finding God, doing coke, and being a billionaire, all at the same time.
You can never look back.

I give it a 7.5/10. Not an 8 because theres not enough sex, but not just a 7...well, mostly because of that passage I just put down. I love that line.


That's all for now. Expect more...probably some time next month. Unless you actually want more, then you have to tell me so I know to do it sooner. But I'm sure you won't :-P

Play Safe!
~Sin

"Breaking up is hard to do..." An Advice Piece

I slept with my ex cause I felt lonely and depressed. and I broke down halfway while having sex.
I'd just like to know
What would he be thinking about.. Cause he's not replying my messages. Would he be ok? He's a typical guy, doesn't really know what to do when a girl cries.
and
What can I do to help myself. I'm in pretty bad shape.
I was just hoping that you might've been in this situation before. Could you help me out?

Alexis-Marie

Hey there Alexis. You picked the right day to ask me this. I've been there, I am there, and I'm there with you all the way.
Breakups are miserable, especially the ones you just can't seem to get over.

Lets start with what you said happened.
Somehow you got your ex into bed (or vice-versa), and halfway through you broke down. I assume this is because you miss him so much, or in general your still broken up about the whole thing.

So, first off, how did he react initially? Did he stop? Ask what was wrong? Console you? Or did he stop and leave you alone? Or even not stop at all? Did he even notice?
The answer to that is the start of your answer on what he's thinking (which is hard to answer since it's practically impossible to really know). If he didn't stop, or at least try to make you feel better, it's likely he really is done with you. If he tried to make you feel better, at least you know he still has a kind feelings towards you.

But maybe you freaked him out a little, I mean, you did start crying. If you didn't (or maybe even if you did) tell him why, who knows what he might be thinking, he's the only one who could really tell you.
Maybe a good idea (if he's not answering your phone calls or messages) is to just apologize without a response. Send him an email and say your sorry if you freaked him out, you've just been going through a lot of shit and you broke down. Tell him you'd like to know how he feels and what he's thinking, but that he doesn't have to reply if he doesn't want to. Then that's about all you can do. You can't force him to talk to you.


Then there's the hard part. Getting over an ex is practically never ever easy. Especially if they broke up with you during an intense relationship. First and most importantly you have to stop thinking about him. This could be the hardest part of absolutely anything, but it's only the start. Here are a few steps you can try.

*Do you ever make up situations in your head about running into him somewhere, him calling or coming to find you? Just imaginary fantasies about the two of you? If you do, STOP. I do this all the time and after a while it becomes a habit. Whenever you find yourself doing it, focus on something else. It's very important. If they're sexual fantasies, you should stop them too. In the future you can use him to fantasize again, but for now you can't. If you continue to think about or hope to see him, you'll never be able to get him out of your head.

*Stop calling, texting, communicating with him, as well as looking at his online pages (facebook, myspace, blogs, whatever). Even if you're still friends or whatever, resist the urge to contact him or look up his stuff. Just for now.

*Make sure you've thrown away all the useless sentimental items he gave you. I don't mean jewelry, books, or cookware, but the fake flowers, stuffed animals, and the little things like pictures that make you think of him, but don't really need to be in your home/room. (This can include ripping them to pieces or burning them-but be careful)

*Start a new project. Whether it's a story, or a painting, a new recipe book or a website, start something new that will take time and occupy your mind for a while. This will keep your mind off of him and give you the feeling of being busy, productive and useful. After my worst breakup I started an Altered Book to vent my misery and then eventually get over it.

*Get active. Whether its working out at a gym or dancing in front of the TV to the music channels, do something that keeps you energized and away from sulking miserably in a corner. Being physically active can keep those woeful feelings at bay.

*Accept what happened and start again. This is a step that can take time (and money) but is best done as soon as you think you're ready.
-Go out and buy a new bath set. Something inexpensive, but really nice, with bath salts, scented soap, oils, a candle or two, body scrub, a loofa, whatever. Maybe even some semi-expensive chocolates.
-When you're ready, have a good cry. I mean a good, long "I'll never love anyone as much as him and how could he hurt me so much and I hate myself and will never recover" cry. Even if it means taking one last look at those memory-inducing pictures and hugging that stuffed animal he got you at the fair/coin machine. Really; you deserve it. Cry until you can't cry anymore, just don't wake the neighbors.
-Think about what happened, what went wrong. Accept that you're hurt and you hate him for it, but then accept that it is over and there's nothing you can do about it. Accept that it will take time to fully heal. Also think about the fact that if he hurt you like this now, he'd probably do it again, so you probably wouldn't really want him back, right? You might want to cry some more after this.

-Now, go take a bath. A nice warm bath with salts, oils, loofas, chocolate, whatever! Anything you want. Turn the lights low, if you can, and wash yourself completely. Scrub everywhere gently but accurately. Imagine that you are washing away the pain. The hurtful parts of your past. Washing away the negative thoughts of him and your past. Try your best not to cry during this, but don't hold it in if you really have to. If you do cry, imagine your tears are your love, being washed away like everything else.
This might sound a bit weird and "New-Agey", but there's no reason why you shouldn't give it a try. The time after a breakup is a very emotional time, and this step is simply an attempt at controlling some of those emotions. It might not help completely but, in my experience, it can help a lot; it's a new beginning.

-Once your done, dry off completely and put on something soft and comfortable. Not silky or sexy; we want romance out of the brain. Now do something quiet, soothing, or productive. Read a brand new book that has nothing to do with romance, sex, or your past. Cook something simple and light. Have a cup of tea (not coffee unless its decaf) or hot chocolate and watch something new. Meditate. Or just go to sleep. This should be a time for you to do something by yourself for yourself. Sleep and let the night help you forget for a little while.

*Finally, GO OUT! When you're ready, going out with friends is one of the most important things you can do. Go to a new restaurant, a club, a bowling alley, amusement park, the beach, anything! Just get out of the house and do something fun and active and with someone that cares about you. (Under no circumstances are you to go out with your ex! Nor going somewhere where he'll be, at least not for a few more months
While you're out, SMILE! Laugh, flirt, dance, jump up and down, do everything that keeps your heart light and pleasant and re-energizes your mind and body.


That's all for now, I hope I helped in some way.
Good luck to you, don't hesitate to ask anything else.

Be safe, be happy
~Sin


Related Posts: Advice To an Over-Blow-jobbed Wife, "You Want to Take a Hot Bath, He Wants To Jack Off...", Sexy Lady Advice

Entitled to Sex? or "Fuck Him"; An Unorganized Bit of Theory on Female Evolution

Our society has somehow created a male mentality that they are entitled to sex. That they need it, deserve it, and shouldn't be denied it.

In high school boys only want girls if they'll put out. Once they do, they're used, dirty, slutty. Yet if they don't, they're prudish, teasing bitches. This trend doesn't really end after high school, it just goes on in different ways.

Case in point, my friend G recently tossed a guy who, after less than a few weeks, called her a cunt because she wouldn't have sex with him.

I'm not exactly what you'd call a raging feminist, but there are parts of our society that you can't deny, including the superiority men have had throughout most of our "civilized" history.

One of the worst products of that superiority, it seems to me, is the male viewpoint that sex is their right. I have no idea how this really came about, but it is one of the top things I blame for high incidences of rape as well as the Madonna-Whore idea, and women's inability to be sexually equal to men.

We have created every aspect of male mentality. Every sexual thing men think, we as a society have put there. We've taught men that they should be hunters. Why? More than likely, any primal society would have had both men and women hunters because everyone would have had to be put to work. Yet this mentality that men have to be in control is still there, because our past societies have put it there. Then there's the idea that men NEED sex, we put it there! Men don't need sex any more than women do, but we've given them this huge gap of logic when it comes to this area. Why?

There's no denying that women have different sex drives than men nowadays, but maybe that's society's fault too?

Perhaps women have been dealt the low hand in evolution. Maybe once upon a time women were as sexually active as any man standing next to them, because they got the same strong, evident urges as men do now, and were pleasured just as easily, were considered just as sexual.

When the more dominant patriarchal societies came along, and got more and more powerful, our sexuality became less needed. Over time as women were more and more often considered sexual objects instead of sexual beings (even, and especially, in religiously dominated societies such as the Christian Europe and Muslim Middle East), we had less and less use of our sexual pleasures, and evolution gave up on us.
While men continued to grow sexually, women were stunted. Sexual pleasure was no longer a value to women, it was a deformity, it became a liability and Mother Nature said "Well, if you don't want it..." and now women (while we still have sex, want it, and enjoy it) just aren't to par with male sexuality.
Part of that is in our mentality, yes, just like mens sexuality has been warped with myths about needed and deserving sex, ours has been tainted with thoughts of immorality and romance over sexuality. But that mental stunting wouldn't change so much of our physical inadequacies, would it?

Think I'm wrong about the inequality?
It could take a woman up to an hour to have a single orgasm, and not even through intercourse, while it takes most men ten minutes. I'm not saying the ridiculous stereotypes of women not needing or enjoying sex like men do are true, but there is a definite unbalance between the two which I think wasn't always there.

No matter how much we strive to own our sexuality. To love our bodies and take hold of our own orgasms, we've still been dealt the short stick.

FYI, we made 1327 hits in June!

Position of the Week $

Currently Watching: The Secretary :: Starring Maggie Gyllenhaal & James Spader

This weeks position is: "The Rising"
Also called Right Angle Position, The Yawning.

In movies and porn you often see couples going at it in something like missionary, but with the womans legs against the guys chest, her high-heeled feet dangling behind his back. This is something like that, but just a little bit more complex.

Directions:
Here the woman lies on her back, the man standing on his knees in front of her. He grips her legs and she supports herself with her hands above/behind her on the bed or headboard as he lifts her legs up and rests them against his body, her ankles on either side of his head. The woman now should have her hips off the bed/ground, and both her legs firmly against the mans body, with their pelvises in line with each other. The guy can hold her legs either at the ankle, knees, or thighs, but preferably her hips while her legs rest inside his elbows, and he penetrates in this position. Traditionally, he should move in "slow circular motions" while she stays still.

So lets talk about this one, one gender at a time.

Guys: You're probably going to love this. Probably. Despite the work it takes to get everything situated, the depth of insertion here (according to W) is fantastic. The womans vagina is shortened a little bit, so your penis goes all the way in, and completely "fills" her.
There's little effort on your part really, except for the fact that your standing on your knees, which can get tiring after a while. And here you have almost total control over speed, pressure, and depth.
"It was hard to keep a grip, but the angle of penetration was...nice. It felt good. It felt open." -W


Ladies: You...might like this. If you have decently strong abs, don't get tired too easily, and don't mind your legs falling asleep halfway through, sure.
The angle isn't uncomfortable once you get used to it, it's just a bit odd the first time, so comfort isn't a really a problem here. Except for your legs... But if you're really into it, my negative comments can be thrown to the wind, because all this one really takes is practice.
The angle does give lots of space for a decent view, or for a vibrator to slip in and give you an extra boost when wanted.
I bet this also burns twice as many calories than regular missionary, simply because of how your fighting to keep up your hips. A great ab workout. Mix that with the good vibrator area, and you've got yourself a pleasurable-and productive- time. ^-^
Although you should definitely skip this one if you have neck or back problems.


I have to say that this is one worth trying, at least, especially if your willing to do the practice ("make research", as W says quite often). I only tried it once, and only for a little while, and because I definitely don't have the abs to hold myself up like that, my personal discomfort shouldn't deter you from at least trying it next time you hop into bed. If you're looking for something new and interesting, this should be on your list.

The angle and depth alone make it worth trying, if only for the guy, and if your the adventurous type, it's pretty cool just to be able to say "Yeah, I did that one". So I say give it a shot.


Tried it? Loved it? Hated it? Found one better? Let me know! Email me at Sinsekret@gmail.com or AIM me under SinSekret.

Sorry no erotica this time, but I've got the next one almost done (already!), and there is a short story, and it's by W, so it's something different.
By the way, we've hit over 1,000 hits so far this month! Fucking awesome!!!

Related Posts: PotW #-Reverse Cowgirl, PotW @-Doggy Style , PotW !- Lotus,

Sex Toy Reviews and The Mini Dolphin

Okay, so.
Recently I created an account with EdenFantasys.com. This is an online adult toy store (like Adam & Eve) that I just stumbled onto. I LOVE their stuff. I mean, I haven't bought anything from them yet, but everything just looks so COOL! I'm sure that sounds silly, but seriously, you have to just stop by and look at the main page (link right over there). The toys are so curvy and colorful and neat! I mean, they have regular toys too, but the aesthetics of these interesting ones is so awesome.

Anyway. I started an Affiliate account with them, but more importantly, I am now a Contributer. I'm going to be writing reviews for them. Doesn't sound like a big deal, but I think it's cool. The best part (for you) is that it means that I'll be doing reviews more often, which is something I've been slacking on lately.
The bad part is that I'm not allowed to post the reviews I do anywhere else outside of their site. But that's not a big deal, I've solved it.

When I do a review, I'll also write a short paragraph about the toy and post it here, along with the link to the on-site review over there. That way you get a summary here no matter what, and you can check out the full review (and the toy) over there, if you want to.

So, for today, I give you my first EdenFantasys Product Review.

Interactives Mini dolphin

This is a simple strap on vibrator made specifically for hands-free play, as well as couples use. It's strong, waterproof, and fun to use. It's hard to keep in one place, but when you can get it where you want it, it works well.

For couple play, it's a bit big, and I've ended up with quite a few pubic bone bruises (I don't mind them, but I'm sure most of you might).

It's a great beginners idea for people who want to try out couples vibrators.

I gave it a four, though I probably should have given it a three, but that's okay. I've used it for the last seven months, and it's only now dying on me. I appreciate it and the pleasurable wonders its done for me. ^-^

Mini Dolphin Review


And so you know, if your a blog owner or whatever and you become an Affiliate, my Partner Code is 9K9. ^-^'

Oh! And it must be said, I almost forgot...

R.I.P George Carlin.
Heart failure, yesterday. I couldn't believe it.
We'll miss him.


~Sin

Sin on News

Some news stories today that BUG me:



Shakopee heeds parents' concerns on sex-ed course

Okay. No. There is no - and I mean NO- logical reason for kids not to learn about sex. Seriously. The time for sexual morality is OVER. Sex is biology. Sex is nature. Sex is going to happen whether we like it or not. Parents can't normally opt their kids out of Biology, or let them skip European History, so their friggin body's sexual DEVELOPMENT class should also be REQUIRED. There is no LOGICAL reason why it shouldn't. People should know their bodies, and that's that.
The fact that they're segregating the sex ed classes is just a laughable after thought for me. Separating boys and girls in a sixth grade class only perpetuates the idea that boys and girls are unequal and sex is something dirty and secret. And I think it's just silly.

Next.

Pharmacies Should Be Allowed To Refuse Contraception...

Nothing so wrong with this post. But it revealed the fact that some Pharmacies refuse to fill contraception orders. Wait, what? No, really, WHAT? Okay, what they say about upholding their own morals without pushing them on other people is great, really, but not filling contraceptions? Not holding condoms? What if they're the only Pharmacy in town? Ick. I don't like this. But yet...it's not all bad. I guess.

Secrets in the Suburbs: I'm a Dominatrix

This...is awesome.
That's all I have to say.
Go you, Mrs. Dom-Mommy.


Oh! And did I mention that Gay Marriage is legal in California? Finally!


W is currently trying to get me to "make research", being that I haven't posted a Position of the Week in for-fucking-ever. (I'm saying fuck a lot tonight; sorry, I'm just in that -fucking- mood.) So I'll go. For science. Yeah, right.

Before I go, four things I realized today.

1. Simba and Nala had sex in the Lion King.

I know, I know; either What the Fuck? or Duh... but for some reason this never occurred to me, but dawned on me suddenly at work as Can You Feel the Love Tonight played.

2. I haven't done a post here about books yet, so I really should. ASAP.

3. The new Doctor Who episodes are better than sex. Period. Seriously. Way better than any sex you could possible have. Unless...no, never mind.

4. I haven't written anything of worth lately. I really do feel bad, I swear. But I'm back from my sad excuse for a "va-kay" and don't work again till Wednesday. So I have three days to force myself! And by force myself I mean be completely lazy until someone actually tells me I should do a new post so I feel like anyone cares. ....... .....

Advice to an Over-Blow-Jobed Wife.

Currently Reading: Sleeping Around: Secrets of a Sexual Adventuress by Catherine Townsend


Sorry I have been soooo crazy slack, but I've been on vacation, and just forgot to say I'd be gone. I'm heading home soon, but till then here's something quick and easy.

I was recently invited to give advice on the sex part of a forum, Ask Dan and Jennifer. I've answered a few so far, and I think they've been pretty good questions (and pretty good answers on my part ^^').

So here's the most recent question and reply. Enjoy ^-^

Husband prefers blowjobs, please help!

---

Since I had my baby a year ago our sex life seems to have gone down hill. Which yes I can understand why. It used to be twice a day, now it's a few times a week.

However, my problem is my husband seems to prefer a blowjob to sex. I have said when it's that time of the month I don't mind doing it for the week, everyday if he wants!
But for the other 3 weeks I want sex, yes blowjobs included but not all the way.
This afternoon he made it clear he wanted a blowjob, I started and then stopped because I could see it was all he wanted. He was disappointed and nothing else happened, no sex or anything.

We have talked about this loads of times and I actually thought he understood how crap it makes me feel.

Oh its great, knowing your husband wants a blowjob but not sex with you. It's not even like I get anything after or during giving him one.

I am so sexually frustrated. It just seems to be either a blowjob for him or a blowjob leading to sex (a quickie) I might add.

The problem is it has gone that far now I don't even come onto him because I feel he doesn't want me. Like I said, I have spoke to him about it and he says yes I understand I am sorry, it will be different.

We used to always watch porn together and I miss it, but there is no way I could watch it now because I feel so low about myself.

Advice please?
~Heaven

Hey there Heaven.

It's seems quite common that guys don't think in a balanced way when it comes to sex. Especially oral sex.

Going in a similar yet opposite direction of the post before me, his reciprocation is a good idea, but why not make a deal with it? You said you're sexually frustrated, why not make a bargain where you'll give him oral if he gives you oral. And if he's all up for that, but he is only half-hearted and you're still left unsatisfied, make it a deal where you'll give him a blow job every time he makes you orgasm. It doesn't matter if he likes it or not; I doubt you like doing it to him all that much either.

And while usually I don't condone trading sex for power, if oral sex isn't your thing, and he's really stuck on blowjobs, try exchanging your sexual favors for housework. Sounds a little odd, but you just had a baby, and I'm sure your list of chores and responsibilities has doubled and his hasn't changed all that much. So, for every time he makes the family dinner, mows the lawn, cleans the kitchen/bathroom, or does the groceries (perfectly), he gets a blowjob. Not right away, but when the time is right.

And if you don't like the idea of bargaining on this, than try more communication. You said he promises to change, but it seems he hasn't, so try simply restricting him. Be honest that you don't like doing it all the time (if ever), and tell him that until you are no longer sexually frustrated, you don't want to do it. Or that you can only give him oral for every time you have successful sex.

Or, just stop doing it altogether, and let him know that your choosing to stop. That you don't like it, it makes you feel bad/degraded, and that when you feel like it (or he deserves it), maybe it can happen again.

I know these sound...harsh, but you seem desperate in a way. Guys can be selfish about their sexual gratification, and you have to show that your gratification (sexual or otherwise) needs to be acknowledged and satisfied. Especially if you actually don't like giving oral. That doubles the problem. You do it for him, even though you don't like it, so he should at least do it for you, if not something else to please you in some way.

If nothing else, communication and understanding (in this case, understanding on his part), is key.

I wish you luck, I hope things work out.

<3
~Sin

A Personal Message...

Currently Reading: Sleeping Around: Secrets of a Sexual Adventuress by Catherine Townsend

Reading the Sexual Memoirs I love so much, I've started feel a bit down. I feel sort of disconnected; like I'm trying to measure up to these writers but inevitably can't.
Not because they know more, or because they're older or more successful, but because of their infamously long "lists".

I, with my total of four sexual partners, cannot compete or compare with a published writer with more than fifty men under her belt. (Why I envy these women in the future post on Casual Sex and Promiscuity.)
And while W and I have talked about and considered considering bringing a third party into our sexual activities, we are both still nervous about the idea. And it's a bit hard to hope for our relationship to succeed when I envy those with more past lovers than me, and wish I were one of them.

I don't feel that quantity of experiences has a dramatic effect on quality of knowledge. I know what I need to know, what I want to know, and I try to know more to help myself and others. But here it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you, the reader, think. So here I am, asking you myself.

I don't have loads of hilarious sexcapades to share with you, nor sexual wisdom gained over years of trial and error.
What I do have is my ideas. My opinions. My knowledge; gained through limited experience, extensive reading, late night conversations, and occasional research. My body; the way it feels and behaves. My life; the few experiences I have had, as well as those of my closest friends, lovers, and strangers.

I can't always be funny, and I can't always be smart, but I will always try to be both and more.

Do you think that's enough?