Advice for the Pre-Orgasmic

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The Sparking of Ideas....

I'll try to make this short and sweet.

I'm really tired of taking pictures off of search engines for my posts.
So here's what I want.

I want YOU. (I want you so bad..^-^...)

I want you to send me pictures! Whether it's photos, computer generated stick figures, or sketches of naked girls and guys from the edges of your notes (when I get a scanner, you'll see mine), I want them all.

See that picture right here? That's mine. Not off Google or any search engine, but mine. Yay me.
That's the kind of stuff I want. Not too much nudity, not too much un-cut sex, but stuff thats sexy, creative, and awesome. Genre based stuff (fetish, posing, etc) is awesome as well.

I'm thinking I could make a contest out of this, and that'd be really awesome, but I can't do shit if no one sends me anything, so I figured I'd start off by begging.

Please send me stuff!!

You know what else would be awesome? Writing.

This, I think, will become a contest, and I'll post details soon, but let me give you an idea of what I'm thinking.

Have any of you ever used this Digital Post-It Note Generator? I just re-discovered it today, and I just love it's random useless awesomeness.
So I want to use it. And I want you all to use it with me.

In any format from the Generator, write a short (really short) bit of erotica. Really, it's not going to be more than a sentence, maybe two, because Post-Its are small (duh). Write up something short, smart, and sexy, and email the image to me ASAP. It could even be a tiny bit of a poem, or even a haiku ^-^

If you don't want to use the Generator, you're welcome to be creative and do it your own way, as long as it's still a short, sexy sentence on a Post-It Note. Whether that means you using photo-shop or paint, or just writing it up on a real Post-It and scanning it, or even drawing/painting a picture of a post-it with your sentence on it and scanning that to me, whatever floats your boat.


I'll post more with details later, especially about the writing thing. But get your ideas flowing and, if you want to just do it, go ahead and email me at sinsekret@gmail.com.

Oh, and I want to mention this now, before I completely forget again.

PhoneGirl, author of the wonderful A Phone Sex Life, has an interview/survey on her blog about Phone Sex, and a while back I took the time to fill it out, just for the hell of it. She recently posted it up, and if you'd like to see it drop by there to learn about me and my sexual fetishes I encourage you to go :) She has a great page, you should see it.
She also did a very flattering review of Sin's Secret a little while after that, which was lovely of her ^-^

<3
Sin


Edit:: I'd also like to mention, that if you want to actually write your sentence on an actual Post-it and actually mail it to me, I'd love it as well. It'd be awesome to put these up on my wall. So, if you don't have a scanner, don't want to use a generator, and wants to mail me their actual Post-it, email me for an address to send it to. <3

Beginning a Journey :: by Kay

**Editor's Note:: I think it's important to mention that Kay has not always been in the "BDSM" culture or lifestyle. While we have often discussed and debated about the sexual elements since we met, it is something she has sort of fallen into. Every person interested in BDSM has started, lived, and continued or stopped participated in their activities for different reasons. Sometimes it's an innate longing, sometimes curiosity, force, etc. There is no right way, there are no (or very few) wrong ways, and as Bell said so wonderfully, everyone is unique and beautiful and they're meant to be that way.

Anyway. Here is post #1, and from now on I'll post one from her every Sunday afternoon. Enjoy! <3>

Intro, Of Sorts
by Kay
Part One of the Submission by Kay series.

Here is what I know:

For the longest time I was a cutter. In a very loose sense of the word. I never broke the skin. There was just something about dragging the sharp edge of something along my bare flesh that filled a part of me. My physical pain, I found, had the ability to match my emotional pain. I had concrete evidence that I was, indeed, hurting. But it was evidence only for myself. I had scratches on my body, sure, but they were in places that I could easily cover with clothing. No one else could know. Unless I wanted them to. And a part of me wanted them to make the effort to discover those scratches, but no one ever did. So my outlet was temporary because after a while, the fact that no one ever noticed began to cause me more pain.

I began to tell people. And then I realized that I was having to defend my status as a “cutter.” I didn’t break skin. My injuries meant nothing. While self-inflicted, they meant nothing compared to the many people who drew blood. Who made scars. I was never one for blood.

But I kept doing it, kept dragging sharp edges across the skin, my tears stopping as I felt a jagged edge dragged across my thigh.

And then one day it just went too far. I won’t get into the details because I’m sure you’d rather not know them. Personally, I’d rather not know them but it’s something I’m forced to live with.

At any rate, I tried rather unsuccessfully to slit my wrist with a razor but I chickened out when the skin broke. It stung too much. So instead I downed a bottle of pills, then ran down the hall to get help.

And suddenly people cared. People wanted to know why.

And that was when I stopped knowing why.

I went to a therapist. And even now, almost two years later, I’m still seeing the same woman. And I’ve still barely scratched the surface of my problems. Pun intended.

A few weeks ago I moved in to my new place.

I had a huge fight with my parents the day I was slated to move out and it ended with me in tears, practically hyperventilating as I sped down the road, my car loaded with all manner of boxes.

My roommate invited her friend over that night. We started talking about sex, as my friends and I are very open about our sex lives and our preferences in the bedroom (in fact, the few that know about this endeavor of mine are very supportive of it!).

I don’t know how the subject came up, I mean specifically…I know how it eventually came up, knowing my friends the way I do. At any rate, I mentioned at some point that I enjoy knife play. Which, at that point in time was a lie. Not a complete lie. I rather did like the idea of knife play. I’d just never…played…before.

Let’s just say the night got better as the guy pulled his knife out and began to drag it across my skin. I’d never felt anything like it. I mean…I had, obviously as I’d formerly done stuff like it to myself…but it was something completely new now. It felt different to have someone else in control of the blade, to control how long it dragged or where it dragged. And I found it highly, highly erotic.

He dragged it over my nipples, over my stomach, my neck, pressing the cool blade into my skin, leaving beautiful pink scratch marks in its wake, marks that I would begin to feel alarmingly proud of.

He tied my wrists together and I found myself unable to clutch anything, barely able to writhe comfortably as he continued to drag that blade. And it was even more erotic. My body felt hot, the space between my legs aching terribly. Pain had become pleasure.

He came back a couple days later, his manner more forceful, pressing me against walls, slamming my face into the bed, tugging my hair. But the more he did, the more I began to enjoy myself. It was intense. It was insane. And it felt so wrong that it began to feel so right. He gave me more scratch marks and this time, I found them accompanied by nice blue bruises, some of those bruises still visible even now.

I was hooked.

Days later, my roommate took me to a friend’s house. She’d told me a lot about him and his girlfriend and the lifestyle they have. His girlfriend and my roommate are like sisters and she gladly showed me their “dungeon,” a basement with a large table at one end and all manner of suspension gear along the other, not to mention an entire wall lined with shelves covered in any manner of toys and devices necessary for their lifestyle.

Later that night, I got into a discussion with her boyfriend and I found myself practically drooling at the thought of working with them. I asked if he would train me and he readily agreed to, offering to go ahead and take me down to the basement for further discussion, including in depth descriptions of the toys and implements.

Later, there was more.

To be continued...(next Sunday)...

**This is an edited version of Kay's first post on her new blog, A Life Beneath. For the full version (not much is cut out, but there are more posts) you're welcome to visit her blog.

Or just stop by here next Sunday for her next post, "My First Lesson".**

clone it

"Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Whips and Chains Excite Me"

A Quick Introduction to the World of BDSM

Book of the Day: You Know You Love It : Lessons in Sexual Mischief :: by Ilona Paris

Movie of the Day: Secretary :: Starring Maggie Gyllenhal and James Spader


The world of Sex and Sexuality is a vast and incomprehensibly interesting universe.
Likes, dislikes, fantasies, cultures, subcultures, fetishes, sexual orientations, and preferences, as well as the lack-there-of of all of the above and so so much more, make it one of the most eclectic topics in modern (and historical) culture.

It's not particularly often that I bring up subjects of fetishes, fantasies, or subcultures of sex. They tend to be complicated and take quite a bit of work to explain. But today, I'm taking a stab (haha) at one of my favorite fetishes/subcultures: BDSM.

For starters, BDSM stands for several things, depending on who you're asking. Respectively, it stands for some variation of Bondage and Discipline/Domination and Submission/Sadism and Masochism.

So lets break down the very very basic basics of what these each stand for.
Bondage: Being tied up. That's the down and dirty basic. Bondage as in Bonds. Being tied up, cuffed, roped, whatever.
Discipline: Being spanked. This is ...well...being disciplined.
Domination: Being on top. This is essentially dominating your partner in one way or another, whoever that may be.
Submission: Being on bottom. This is typically submitting to your partner. Enduring pain, bondage, humiliation, and all sorts of strange offenses that normally be horrid.
Sadism: Slapping and enjoying it. Based on the legendary Marquis De Sade, this is gaining pleasure from giving pain (whether that be physical of mental).
Masochism: Being slapped and enjoying it. The opposite of sadism, masochism is gaining pleasure from receiving pain.

Now, these things get a lot more complicated, and are defined and carried out in a million different ways by a million different people. Yes, I said a million. Its really millions. These pleasures are far more common than you think.
Think about it. What turns you on? Nibbling on each others lips? Nails down your back? Little extra roughness during sex?
These little things are little degrees of bondage, masochism, and domination.
There are, of course, many people who those things aren't enough for.

I've always had a quaint fascination with the BDSM world. My particular niche is the idea of being owned. Tied up, collared, punished, and, most of all, taken care of.

I recently bought a pair of fur lined leather wrist cuffs (not hand cuffs; I can't stand fuzzy handcuffs), and I adore them. Coal (my bf, W, in case I haven't mentioned the name change yet) puts them on me every morning, and takes them off every night. I'm only allowed to take them off for work and modeling (and cleaning or showering). It took a while for him to grasp what it was I wanted with all of this, but little by little he's understanding my want (and need) to be taken care of, almost as if I were a pet.

I'm sure it seems odd, but to me, seeing him put on the cuffs makes me feel owned in a way that lets me feel protected, wanted, and loved. Once in a while he bathes me, or dresses me, or other simple tasks, and when he asks me to do something, I do it (9 times out of 10 anyway...).
It isn't like I can't take care of myself (hell, he can barely take care of himself, I'm better at it), it's just this sweet, sensual feeling I get from being taken care of. And occasionally from small levels of inflicted pain.

This is a very simple, very basic form of a Dominance/Submission relationship. I'd like it to grow into more in the future, but right now we're taking little steps.

But there are so many higher, more complicated, more dangerous levels of BDSM. From knife play and hot wax to flogging and whipping, to suspension and chains, to asphyxiation, humiliation, and nipple clamps, to so so so much more. There are so many fetishes, subcultures, and ways to "play" that you'd be hard put to actually name most of them.

In the future I hope to eventually talk more about the culture and subcultures of BDSM, but for now I just wanted to give you this basic introduction, and introduce my new (and first) Guest Writer.

My friend Kay just started taking "classes" in Submission. She just started, but so far her experiences have been interesting, and her appreciation seems genuine. She recently started a Blog to journal her thoughts, sessions, and overall journey in this little area of the sexual world, so I invited her to post some of her writings here in Sin's Secret as a sort of weekly guest entry.

My hope is that this will do several things. One, is give Sin's Secret some more varied content, which I think is important, and a new, outside voice. Two, is give an inside view into something that most people aren't familiar with, so that maybe some of you readers might find something new to learn, create an understanding of, and maybe even try out some time ;-). Three, is to add a bit of spice in here. I know that now and then my posts can be pretty dull, and occasionally talk about some dull topics. This Guest Writer would mean that there'd be something strange, new, and interesting every week or so for readers to follow and enjoy.

So, the next post up will be Kay's initial introduction piece, to start her off.

Until next time!
<3
Sin

Because I am a Lazy Bitch...

Okay, so here's the deal.
I haven't made a post in at LEAST two weeks, and I'm really really sorry.

Not like any of you really care if I make a post today, tomorrow, or next month, but whatever. I should be more responsible and quit being lazy and write my stuff. I just should.

I have nothing to talk about tonight, so here's the deal. I'm just here to let you know that I am still alive and haven't forgotten about my little blip of the inter-webs.

*I finally got my Eden Fantasy's assignment toy last week, and am currently working on the review for it. It's my first authorized free-toy review, so I want it to be awesome. I'll let you know when that's up and give you a different spin on it.

*I haven't read any good sex books lately, mostly because I'm just sort of sexed out. I still love to talk about it, give advice, and learn about it, but reading about it takes too much damned effort.
I'm currently reading the fourth book in the fictional series Kushiel's Legacy, which is a series with a lot of sex in it (and its just plain fucking awesome), but no new memoirs or instructional books at the moment. Money's hopefully going to be better this semester, so maybe that'll change soon enough. A book on sensual massage would be good. Right?

*I haven't had a Position up in for-fucking-ever, so I'll try to get one up within the next two weeks. Summer's just been really really weird and busy and miserable, but maybe the fall will bring back a little bit of my libido.

*Did I ever mention that I think I figured out my orgasm problem? Well, I think I did. It's a little bit of a biological, physical mishap, and I'm hoping a good GYN will help me fix it. More on that another time.

*I'm currently looking for Guest Bloggers for Sin's Secret. With how busy I'm going to be this semester, I'd love to have a couple guests put in some input. Whether it's my wonderful fellow bloggers that I love so much, or just a reader who has something he/she feels should be included. It could be a full article or whatever you'd like. Just email me (sinsekret@gmail.com) and let me know if you're interested. We can work something out.

I think that's all for now, really. Should have the Toy Review up on Wednesday, and have more news and interesting stuff up by the weekend.

<3
Sin

"Anal Ultimatum" Advice Piece

I've been married for just over a month and my husband told me yesterday he doesn't want to have sex with me. We've struggled in the past with getting on the same page sexually, but had been doing well (I thought) thanks to a very romantic honeymoon until about a week ago. We didn't have sex all this week, any time I tried to initiate it he said he had to do something or was tired and just wanted to snuggle, etc. Yesterday he finally told me he has no desire to have sex with me right now. Basically, he's bored with me and has said that anal sex is a deal breaker in our marriage. We have tried anal on many occasions and maybe once or twice it has felt bearable- not GOOD, just not painful to the point where I could tolerate it. I love him and want to make him happy, but me "tolerating" it isn't good enough for him. He wants me to enjoy it and ask for it.
Since we started dating, my husband has tried to encourage me to be more sexually adventurous. I have tried many things that were once outside my comfort zone...some I like, but some I haven't learned to. He was previously married (his wife passed away) and I know they were much more compatible sexually than he and I are, though he says the two of us are more compatible in many other ways. I know he and previous wife went to sex clubs and he wants me to go to one as well...but I'm not comfortable being naked in public or the possibility of having threesome or sex with strangers. I appreciate the fantasy of the idea, but in reality I think it would lead to jealousy and confusion in our realtionship. Despite this, I've suggested that he seek anal sex with another partner because I really want him to be satisfied and have his needs met but he always says he wants to have it with me.
He was aware of all my reservations before we got married, before we got engaged and before we even got serious. His lack of desire and frustration with me makes me feel undesirable and makes me less interested in sex. I also feel like I'll never live up to his previous wife and that he'll always long for the sex life that they shared.
Please cheer me up! I can't talk to any of my friends because I don't want them to know we're having trouble.
~Sad Newlywed

Hey there.

This might sound a little harsh, but it sounds to me like marriage might not have been a great idea for you two. It's not just the sex incompatibility, but more his blatant disrespect for your wants, needs, and likes/dislikes.

I can understand you not wanting to have anal. Its strange, uncomfortable, sometimes painful, and typically only pleasurable for women if it's what they're into. Obviously it's not your thing. He should understand that and respect it and not continue to try to get you to do it.

The fact that him and his wife were compatible and sexually adventurous is great, but he should NOT hold you to the same standards, especially if he knew your opinions before hand.
"W" and I have talked about having a threesome with another woman (because i want to) but he's really uncomfortable with the idea. And while I will probably continue to bring it up for a while, once he makes a decision that he doesn't want to do it than that's it; we just wont do it.
If you're not comfortable with it than you shouldn't be pressured into doing it.

A person who loves, cares for, and respects you will NOT push you into doing something once you've said I'm Not Comfortable or I Don't Like It or I Don't Want To, and that's that.

I will always encourage people to branch out and try new things in their sex lives. But you have to start small, you have to go slow, and everyone has their limits. He's expecting you to do things with him that it probably took time and communication with his old wife to jump into and get used to, without you having the same adjust time as him.

My only real usable advice it to try to get through with him. Tell him what this denial and pressure makes you feel. If he doesn't acknowledge it, let off, or apologize sincerely, you know there's something wrong with the whole thing.

It would really suck to separate after being married for such a short time, but from the way your story sounds it seems like one day that might happen either way. Not because he doesn't want to have sex with you, but because of his disrespect for your wants and the way you're feeling about it. If this is starting so soon, and you're already being hurt (emotionally) by his actions and feeling sexually and emotionally frustrated, imagine what it'll be like in another year or two or five.

The best thing to try here is communication. Be open, honest, and determined!
He has to know that this is important to you and you will not let up (and make sure not to). You don't want to only do anal (if at all), you're not ready for sex clubs or swinging, and you need sexual satisfaction just as much as he does.

It may not seem like it now and then, but these are important stands that you have to make. If he won't back down off his high horse, it might mean you should start thinking about more drastic measures.

Good luck.
Be strong.
Stay safe.
<3
Sin

The Joke of Contraception in Politics. A Plea.

I don't usually talk about politics because, honestly, I don't want to. Politics and religion are the two topics that no one on different sides will ever really be able to discuss rationally, everyone's too goddamned convinced that they're right and everyone else is wrong.

But today I'm going to go against my mini pledge. I'm going to talk about Politics. Just a little bit. Please don't run off scared, because this is important.

I've had the basic idea of John McCain's status on Abstinence Only Education (he's all for it) since I first did research on the elections in the spring. It made me dislike him. But after reading This Article, I started doing some more research into an accusation which seemed far more horrifying than just AOE.

My findings say this: John McCain is AGAINST Sex Education AND Contraception (including Condoms).

Let me say that again. John McCain is AGAINST CONTRACEPTION.
That includes birth control pills, Plan B pills, and CONDOMS!!

Contraception is one of the most important topics of today's society.
Condoms are vital in the prevention of HIV and teen pregnancy, and Birth Control is one of the most issues in Women's Health because it prevents pregnancy as well as aiding in other medical problems.
Contraception and Birth Control is a Basic Medical issue and a basic medical Right! It isn't just sexual health or reproductive rights, it is Women's Health.

But McCain's status on Condoms is that he "isn't sure they really prevent" pregnancy or STDs.
He has voted AGAINST allowing or paying for Contraception every single time he's gotten the chance to.

To a reporter in Iowa, when asked about contraception and HIV (talking mostly about condoms and AIDS in Africa), he said "I’m not informed enough on it."

What??? A Presidential Candidate not INFORMED about one of the most important social issues?
If he's lying to save his own ass, what a horrible way to do it. Just say your against contraception and take your stand. He's supposed to be a "straight talker" who will take on questions and accusations against his issues head on, but he stumbles over contraception??
If he's not lying, and really doesn't know (or care about) contraception, then why the hell would we want him as President?

And that's not the first time he's said that. So many times when asked about contraception issues, he responds with "I don't know...etc". Even going so far as to ask his press secretary what his stance on the issues were!
Do we want a President who doesn't know about these issues?

At another time, when asked about the fact that Viagra is paid for by insurance but birth control isn't (he'd recently voted against a bill that would have birth control paid for along WITH what it pays for now-Viagra), he responded "I certainly do not want to discuss that issue".

Once again, WHAT? He doesn't want to talk about it? How can a Presidential Candidate not want to talk about an important issue? Do we want a president who is uncomfortable with talking about these important issues? He then says that he "doesn't usually duck an issue, but I'll get back to you".
Well we've got more instances where he DID duck that very same issue!

In this case you'd think it'd make perfect sense for any insurance that covers Viagra to cover birth control as well. As if the two weren't completely related to each other.



Today I even discovered an article talking about the new "definition" of Pregnancy. The government has decided to THROW OUT the established MEDICAL definition of pregnancy as beginning at implantation (when an egg attaches to the Uterus lining), and instead adopt the religious PUBLIC OPINION that pregnancy starts at conception (the meeting of the egg and sperm) as the new DEFINITION. This is an attempt at defining any hormonal contraception as ABORTION, which it's NOT! This also goes on to propose a new rule that would allow government funded programs to DENY women BIRTH CONTROL, and any company that didn't hire someone who would REFUSE BIRTH CONTROL to patients would be threatened.

This is just one step closer to outlawing Contraception in the US. Can you believe it?
Abstinence Only is one thing, but these little bitty steps towards completely ANNIHILATING the RIGHTS of women and their HEALTH is getting ridiculous and, frankly, absolutely frightening.

I don't care if your republican, democrat, christian, pro-life, pro-choice, pro-abortion,or pro-abstinence only, you cannot support a complete lack of Contraception and Condoms!

I don't care who you usually vote for, who you're planning on voting for, or why, but PLEASE don't vote for McCain. If you care about health, sexuality, or just WOMEN, PLEASE don't vote for him!
A man who doesn't want to talk about vital health issues and doesn't know enough about contraception to simply answer a question should NOT be allowed to be our entire countries President!

*deep breath*
I can deal with abortion being illegal or Abstinence Only taking over the schools, but if Contraception is banned in the US, or made legally ridiculously hard to get, I'm moving to Canada or England. And for the first time, I'm completely serious.

I can't support a country that doesn't support basic Civil and Women's Health Rights.



(PS: all the hyper linked phrases lead to blogs or news articles explaining the phrase)

Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Vibrator Gone...

Nowhere, actually; it's dead.
I need (want) a new one.

So So So So much. *sob*

It's not quite yet the kind of dead that means I can't use it anymore, but the kind that makes it a pain in the ass to use. I typically use my Strap On Dolphin Vibrator (without the straps; my clitoris is picky) for both single and couple play, and apparently I've used it far too much for it's own comfort. The wire is now fucked, and it shorts out every time unless I hold the cord a certain way (which is constantly changes). So it's really become impossible to use.
My trusty, wonderful, (cheap) little Bullet is a usual second choice, but unfortunately runs on watch batteries.
Watch Batteries = not available at the corner store + more expensive than the vibrator itself.
The other toys I own are virtually useless (I'm just too determined to have a full collection [and not waste money] to throw them away).
Thus, I am vibration-less.

It's really depressing because I have this weird little dream goal about having a whole collection of vibrators and lubricants and sex toys and novelties, but I've now broken my favorite one.
The sad part is I'm still unlikely to ever actually throw it away until it just completely stops turning on.

This is my Eden Fantasy's Wishlist, in case you just happened to have a couple extra dollars to spend...on me....
Some of the stuff on there is expensive, but some is really really cheap. And I'd love you forever....and ever...and ever. So it'd be worth it....I promise.
Anyway, I quit my pathetic groveling for the moment.

Quick IM with high school friend, Bay.
New Message!
Bay: Never satisfied with anything, are you?
Bay: How did you ruin your old vibrator?
Sin: ...
Sin: overuse
Bay: tsk tsk
Bay: of course. Need I have asked?
Sin: it's got a battery pack and the wire shorted
Sin: it makes me sad
Sin: ,>.<, Bay: Lol Bay: You would short out a sex toy... xD That's my Sin <3<3>
Bay: If I wasn't broke as well, I'd gladly pay money to make you sexually content.

If nobody minds, I'd like to include some of my random and slightly humorous text/IM conversations (as above) every once in a while (when their relevant). If they get annoying, aren't funny, or are too long and useless, PLEASE let me know and I'll make sure to throw them in the Idea Trash.

Next up, just so you know, is the next Position of the Week. It's half way finished, but not finished yet, so it should be up...Monday, I think. Especially since I've really been trying for a M,W,Th schedule, so here goes another try.

Till next time!
Play Safe!
<3

Related Posts: Sex Toy Reviews and the Mini Dolphin, Power of the Sun in The Palm of Your...,

Entitled to Sex? or "Fuck Him"; An Unorganized Bit of Theory on Female Evolution

Our society has somehow created a male mentality that they are entitled to sex. That they need it, deserve it, and shouldn't be denied it.

In high school boys only want girls if they'll put out. Once they do, they're used, dirty, slutty. Yet if they don't, they're prudish, teasing bitches. This trend doesn't really end after high school, it just goes on in different ways.

Case in point, my friend G recently tossed a guy who, after less than a few weeks, called her a cunt because she wouldn't have sex with him.

I'm not exactly what you'd call a raging feminist, but there are parts of our society that you can't deny, including the superiority men have had throughout most of our "civilized" history.

One of the worst products of that superiority, it seems to me, is the male viewpoint that sex is their right. I have no idea how this really came about, but it is one of the top things I blame for high incidences of rape as well as the Madonna-Whore idea, and women's inability to be sexually equal to men.

We have created every aspect of male mentality. Every sexual thing men think, we as a society have put there. We've taught men that they should be hunters. Why? More than likely, any primal society would have had both men and women hunters because everyone would have had to be put to work. Yet this mentality that men have to be in control is still there, because our past societies have put it there. Then there's the idea that men NEED sex, we put it there! Men don't need sex any more than women do, but we've given them this huge gap of logic when it comes to this area. Why?

There's no denying that women have different sex drives than men nowadays, but maybe that's society's fault too?

Perhaps women have been dealt the low hand in evolution. Maybe once upon a time women were as sexually active as any man standing next to them, because they got the same strong, evident urges as men do now, and were pleasured just as easily, were considered just as sexual.

When the more dominant patriarchal societies came along, and got more and more powerful, our sexuality became less needed. Over time as women were more and more often considered sexual objects instead of sexual beings (even, and especially, in religiously dominated societies such as the Christian Europe and Muslim Middle East), we had less and less use of our sexual pleasures, and evolution gave up on us.
While men continued to grow sexually, women were stunted. Sexual pleasure was no longer a value to women, it was a deformity, it became a liability and Mother Nature said "Well, if you don't want it..." and now women (while we still have sex, want it, and enjoy it) just aren't to par with male sexuality.
Part of that is in our mentality, yes, just like mens sexuality has been warped with myths about needed and deserving sex, ours has been tainted with thoughts of immorality and romance over sexuality. But that mental stunting wouldn't change so much of our physical inadequacies, would it?

Think I'm wrong about the inequality?
It could take a woman up to an hour to have a single orgasm, and not even through intercourse, while it takes most men ten minutes. I'm not saying the ridiculous stereotypes of women not needing or enjoying sex like men do are true, but there is a definite unbalance between the two which I think wasn't always there.

No matter how much we strive to own our sexuality. To love our bodies and take hold of our own orgasms, we've still been dealt the short stick.

FYI, we made 1327 hits in June!