Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Sex Taboo

Sex. One word, a million possibilities for pleasure, pain, and controversy. In television, movies, music, clothes, games, and even books, you'll always find sex. Modern society has proven that you can put it in just about anything, and we will eat it up. Last year the worldwide "adult" industry generated over 97 billion dollars. Hollywood release 11,000 adult movies per year, and over 60% of all web sites visited are considered sexual. In fact, 40 million US citizens make <0001pt; line-height: normal;">
I have a friend who has had more sexual partners than you could count on a few hands. But for the longest time, she was horrified at the idea of talking intimately about her encounters- unless it was to make dirty jokes. Why the timidity? It seems she found the subject too awkward and- get this- gross.

To me there is nothing more important to talk about than sex. From the time we hit puberty (and sometimes before then) sex is a part of our lives, whether anybody wants to admit it or not. If we can't talk about it, how can we ever really be comfortable with this huge part of reality? Not to mention ever really become informed on the subject. If you can't talk to your lover, friends, or (on occasion) your parents about your sex life, how would you manage to talk to them about the important things that come along with it? Pain, pregnancy, infections, preferences, etc, are so much harder to talk about when you're not used to discussing the general subject.

And beyond that, what about the good things? How will your partner know which things he or she does that you like, or what you want to do together, if you are too uncomfortable to talk to them about it? A good group of girlfriends can be the best source of suggestions on how to make your sex life better, yet so many girls are too shy to bring up these "dirty" topics in public. And despite what people may think about the promiscuity of college students, so many of us are uninformed about the topics that can mean the most, typically thanks to constricting parents and faulty Sex Education classes.

And for clarification, let's break down the word. For me, foreplay, positions, contraceptives, Sexually Transmitted Infection's (STI's), gender preferences, relationships, lubricants, bondage, music, toys, oral, lingerie, fantasies, and so, so, so much more are all part of the grand category of sex, and they all just ache to be talked about. Sex and sexuality is not something you can just put into a box and say "This is sex." It is so much more than that.

So here I am, ready to talk about it. All of it. Those things I know of intimately, along with those I haven't yet experimented with. I'm not here to flaunt my limited experiences and gush about my sex life, and I'm definitely not here to lecture on safety or abstinence. I just here to talk (and maybe answer some questions about) the things that need to be talked about. The good, the bad, and the pleasurable. Because that's what sex is.

This is my stance on sex: It happens. It's life. Admit it. Now lets get over it, and talk.