Monday, July 7, 2008

The pen, being mightier than the prick...

I love to read. Well, I used to. Now I'm too lazy. But normally, I love to read. Normally, my genre is fantasy and teen fiction (my guilty pleasure), but a bit before Sin's Secret began I was suddenly all about sex. Sexual memoirs, guides, humor, if it had sex in it (and was non-fiction) I was all for it.
So heres a list of a few of the books I've read in the past few months, with little bits of reviews to show you what it's like, how it went, and what I thought of it. Today, we'll just start with three or four.

Belle De Jour; Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl ::by:: Anonymous

My second Sexual Memoir ever, this one grabbed me and pulled me along (by my hair) the whole was through. I mean, with the first sentence being "The first thing you should know is that I'm a whore.", you know you're in for a good ride.
That went on into the Prologue where Belle explains how she got into the "escort" business after college, including her very first "job" with a married couple. The book pretty much follows her diary/blog for about a year, including friends, family, relationships, shags, and- of course- clients.
It's hot. And fun.
Jeudi, le 4 decembre

There is someone in London who just paid to lick the pucker of my arse for one hour. Isn't that what everyone really wants in life, someone who'll kiss your grits and enjoy it?
If someone had only told me from the outset such perfect clients existed, I would have jumped in straightaway.
I give it an 8/10
And, in case you were wondering, this is now a BBC show (but coming to Showtime this new season I believe) starring Billie Piper (of Dr. Who). It's well done as well. Over dramatized, of course, but its fun to watch, and Piper has a gorgeous body in it.

The Walk of Shame; the Survival Guide ::by:: Robin Anderton and Jay Desario

I BookMooched this out of curiosity, and it turned out a bit differently than expected.
It's really a comedy book, barely serious in the least. Tells you what kind of Slut you are, what your signature drink should be, the best times of year to carry out a Walk of Shame, and what/who to avoid when you do so.
Definitely funny. Worth the read in a humor kind of way. Seems like something you'd bring to a E.R. or something, to keep your mind off the fact that you've been there for three hours and your bleeding out of your ears (speaking of which, I must tell you about my first visit to the Health Dept soon).
I give it a 8/10 in a different category than Belle De Jour. Not the best, but worth reading for a lot of laughs and a few obscure definitions.
Drink of Choice: Wine

If you're a college student, wine might seem a tad "adult" for your purposes. In fact, it's the ideal drink for you. First of all, it's cheap: a jug of delicious Gallo Rhine rarely costs more than ten dollars. Second of all, it'll leave you with a much more manageable hangover than many of the alternatives. Third, it will lead you to have joyous group sex with a bunch of comparative literature majors while someone prances around you in a circle, declaiming selections from "Howl". If you're in grad school, wine's power is even more pronounced: you will finally get with that guy everyone in your program thinks is totally hot but totally gay.
The Little Book of Kama Sutra Positions ::by:: Ann Summers

This probably wasn't worth the $10 it cost, but may be worth it if you can find it at a good discount.
This tiny hardcover book starts out exploring both male and female bodies, their erogenous zones, and the spiritual lessons and techniques of Kama Sutra. After that, it gives directions, tips, and well done photos of quite a few positions, starting from the easiest and going up in difficulty.
It's not a bad book, but not the best either. A good resource for basic Kama Sutra information (not too much spirituality, if that's not what you're looking for), with some pretty neat positions. I'd recommend this one if you can find it for a low enough price. (I think the lowest one on Amazon is about $6.50, which isn't too bad, I think.)
I give it a 6/10. Useful, especially for it's size, but not the best.
The Elephant Posture:
Great for...This is great for the man who likes to be in control. Penetration stimulates her G-spot. She can barely move because of the weight of her lover. Many women find this lack of control incredibly arousing.
Tantric Tip: This was inspired by the mating patterns of the elephants of India, which isn't the most obviously erotic image for modern lovers- however, the thrill of this position is timeless. Unleash your inner wild animal and howl and loudly and passionately as you both can.
21st Century Twist: This is great for a little light spanking, which as well as being a naughty thrill, also gets blood flowing to the whole pelvic region, making it even more sensitive. A light slap to the thigh with the back of a hand or a spanking paddle here can take sex in the Elephant Posture to a new dimension.
Sex and Sensibility ::edited by:: Genevieve Field

This is a female oriented book of short non-fiction stories about real women's lives. With tearful breakups and erotic one night stands, to long time haves and sexual near-misses, this is full of interesting and well-written mini-memoirs.
I picked it up expecting quite a bit more sex, so in that field I was disappointed, but it definitely didn't let down as far as interest goes. From a pair of best friends who end up in a threesome together with their new house mate, to a reporter swept away by a European Sexual Massage-Therapist, these stories (most of them) keep you reading while making you smile.
Mark greets you kindly at the airport, sweetly shows you your room, and then he shows you his, which has an antique tin ceiling, one which you spend a lot of time getting to know. Mark is the first man who has ever gone down on you .
Holy. Fucking. Christ.
Getting your pussy licked by a champ is like finding God, doing coke, and being a billionaire, all at the same time.
You can never look back.
I give it a 7.5/10. Not an 8 because theres not enough sex, but not just a 7...well, mostly because of that passage I just put down. I love that line.

That's all for now. Expect more...probably some time next month. Unless you actually want more, then you have to tell me so I know to do it sooner. But I'm sure you won't :-P

Play Safe!

No comments: