Does God Really Kill Kittens?

Currently Listening To: Secret by Maroon 5 from Songs About Jane

According to many, masturbation is dirty, wrong, sinful.... what have you. Why?

I think it's amazing that people claim that sexual acts are unnatural, especially masturbation, which contains no risk of STD, pregnancy, or heart break (although too much may result in muscle strain, dizziness, or throwing out your back...^-^).

No one gets offended when you scratch your back when it itches, right? That feels good, right? Duh, it feels damned good. Essentially, sexual pleasure is the same as that, it's just your body's reaction to a physical stimuli, just like scratching your back or eating your absolute favorite food.

In movies and television, masturbation is only used to portray the awkward, "pathetic", icky parts of teenage life. Other sexual acts, mainly oral sex and intercourse, are glorified and glamorized while self stimulation is scorned, looked down on, and laughed at. It creates the mentality that A) masturbation is gross, or B) people only masturbate when they're not getting what they "need" (read want) sexually.

Now I will admit that I'm not fond of watching a guy masturbate. I had a bad experience with my bad ex, and it just grosses me out. Yes, I've told you before, I am a hypocrite. But it's a well known "rule" in my relationship that masturbation is A-OK! as long as it's not in front of me. And it's a bit weird if I'm like, in the next room, but that's still okay.

Did you know Britney Spears wrote a song about masturbation? Me either! I'm not a fan or anything, but yay her!

"I love myself/ It’s not a sin/ I can’t control what’s happenin’// ‘Cause I just discovered/ Imagination’s taking over/ Another day without a lover/ The more I come to understand/ The touch of my hand// From the small of my back and the arch of my feet/ Lately I’ve been noticin’ the beautiful me/ I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait/ I’m into myself in the most precious way// And I don’t want to explain tonight/ All the things I’ve tried to hide/ I shut myself out from the world so I/ Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly"

Along with the disapproval, there are all kinds of myths about masturbation that are made to scare people into not doing it. It doesn't work, of course, just like telling people not to drink or do drugs, but instead merely inspires guilt in the time after.

From erectile dysfunction to pre-ejaculation to hair growth, baldness, blindness, and illness, to sterility, malformation, and - of course- damnation.

Here are some myths I've found floating around the web. I didn't include any from satirical sites, just the ones that are actually serious.

"The harmful effects of masturbation include discharge of semen when u think about girl, reduction in penis size, tapering of penis in the base, reduced erection size, reduced amount of orgasm and the worst of all premature ejaculation. All of these problems are a big problems by themselves but thinking that they all are caused because of too much masturbation, i will say that masturbation is harmful." - Discussion on Masturbation

"Symptoms-- The following are some of the symptoms of those who are addicted to the habit: Inclination to shun company or society; frequently being missed from the company of the family, or others with whom he or she is associated; becoming timid and bashful, and shunning the society of the opposite sex; the face is apt to be pale and often a bluish or purplish streak under the eyes, while the eyes themselves look dull and languid and the edges of the eyelids often become red and sore; the person can not look anyone steadily in the face, but will drop the eyes or turn away from your gaze as if guilty of something mean.

The health soon becomes noticeably impaired, there will be general debility, a slowness of growth, weakness in the lower limbs, nervousness and unsteadiness of the hands, loss of memory, forgetfulness and inability to study or learn, restless disposition, weak eyes and loss of sight, headache and inability to sleep, or wakefulness. Next come sore eyes, blindness, stupidity, consumption, spinal affection, emaciation, involuntary seminal emissions, loss of all energy or spirit, insanity and idiocy--the hopeless ruin of both body and mind. These latter results do not always follow. Yet they or some of these do occur as a direct consequence of this pernicious habit."- Masturbation and the Bible

What is wrong with these people?

Science can't exactly prove (so far) that masturbation is medically good for you, but think of all the things we know it does do, just from experience! It helps with your blood pressure, relieves stress, creates pleasure, helps you wake up or fall asleep (depending on what you do and how), and it's completely safe and it burns calories. Sounds good to me...

And I just had to include this image, gimme a minute while I geek out and giggle:

Due to the high amount of votes for masturbation on the recent poll, this will be the first of a three part trilogy of articles on self gratification. Please comment or email with any feedback you may have, so I can make sure the entire set is as informative and enjoyable as possible.

In future posts on masturbation, I will mostly include more details; techniques, facts, problems, aids, toys, and stories.


Related Posts: Untitled Paper on Homosexuality