Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Art of Self Lovin

Currently Reading: Guide To Getting It On!

This is part two of my Self Gratification Trilogy. You may want to head back to part one, Does God Really Kill Kittens? If not, on with the show!

Quick Disclaimer: Many links in this post lead to more sexually graphic sites with nudity and realistic sexual
products. While I work hard to keep Sin's Secret PG-13, some links have more R/NC-17 images. I am not responsible if you find a link or product you feel is inappropriate. Just FYI.

May is National Masturbation Month!
Let's take advantage of this time to focus on Self Gratification; what it is, how it's done, and what's so awesome of it!

The dictionary defines masturbation as:
1.the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.

Fun fun fun.

Masturbation is really just getting yourself "off" sexually, whether by means of your hand, an inanimate object (such as a candle, etc), an adult toy (i.e. a vibrator or sleeve), or sometimes another persons hand (although that's no quite masturbation any more).

As I said in Part 1, masturbation has a pretty bad rep. It's seen as gross, pathetic, and desperate, which is how it's usually portrayed in movies and television. It gives the idea that you wouldn't have to masturbate if you could get anything different, and treated like a loser's alternative to sex.

That is so far from the truth. Personally, I've been in a relationship for almost 8 months now, and a month hasn't gone by where I didn't masturbate at least twice. Even my boyfriend admits to masturbating every now and then. It's actually especially helpful when we want our sexual activities to last a little longer, because finishing first without my help can help prolong his performance.
Really, people have to acknowledge and understand the idea that masturbation isn't just a pathetic release. It is healthy, safe, STD and Heartbreak free, and can be done any time you want (although I will assert that it is rude to do it anywhere that is not private, unless those around you are okay with you doing it).

Being that it is National Masturbation Month, lets use this sequel post to go over some of the techniques of masturbation.

Once I started the techniques for women, I just couldn't stop writing. I'll try to trim it down, but I might have to turn this into a quartet....>.< (and yes, the product images link back to a site you can buy them at)

Masturbation techniques for women:

It's a common misconception that women don't masturbate. That it's a boy thing and girls don't like (or need) sex or sexual pleasure "the way guys do". I'll talk about this more in Part 2/3, for now lets get on to the fun parts.

There are all kinds of ways to "get yourself off". The two basics, using your hands (and maybe lubricant to make everything slippery and easy), are just that; basic, stepping stones to bigger and better things.
So lets get started (we won't finish yet). We'll just do two basic ones for each gender here, and continue on in part 2.

*The Faucet Method.
This was my first experience with masturbation. You can interpret that however you'd like, but it was. After having the horrible suspicion that something was sexually wrong with me, I scoured the world wide web for techniques to...try myself out, and "practice" my sexuality. (I actually had to tell myself I was "practicing", so I didn't feel like I was actually masturbating, because that would have been shameful, even though nobody knew or anything)
This involves you, your clitoris, and a bathtub.

Start out by laying in your bathtub (long ways), with your legs over the short edge, or up against the wall (a great stretching technique, btw), your hips positioned so your pubic area is right below the faucet.
This can be a bit frustrating or uncomfortable at first, but it gets better and easier as you adjust.

Turn on the water.
Now, if you're a beginnger, or have an especially sensitive clitoris or vaginal area (for example, Bell claims to not really be able to do this because she's so sensitive), you may want to start the water on really low, or position yourself so that the water is hitting the area between your inner thigh and other labia (lip), and raise the pressure as or move yourself as you adjust.

Temperature wise, I typically start with warm water or hot water (be very careful if you're not used to too much heat; I love the heat), then raise it for a while before adding in cold- because after a while the temperature doesn't really matter, all you can feel is the sensation. And hopefully those sensations will be fantastic.

Just keep yourself there and adjust the water and your position as feelings grow and change.
Before I started using a vibrator (and for a while after as well), this was my favorite form of masturbation. I love the warmth and the feeling.

(This can also be done with a detachable shower head. And it's much more comfy. Those things rock.

*Foreign Objects.
This is really my broad term for the use of any foreign object (physical object, not like...literature or porn) to stimulate the "pleasure spots". The most popular items are dildos and vibrators. (But I've heard of women using crazy stuff from candles to cucumbers, beer bottles to cell phones, Popsicles to teddy bears to lobsters. Yeah, I said lobsters. You don't want to know.

Anyway. I've tried dildos and vibrators (like the Power Bullet-my review), and as I've said, vibrators are my favorite. I just don't get internal stimulation like most people. Vibrator provide gentle to strong sensations of pulses, waves, and constant buzzing to your clitoris to create stimulation and cause orgasm. You put it there, move it around, and orgasm. (although it tends to be more difficult than that) Sounds simple, right?

Then there are the other clitoral stimulation toys. Such as the Clit Massager over there. These use different sensations to stimulate the clitoris, such as sucking motions. Tends to try to stimulate oral sex. I've never used one, but this one on the side is totally on my wish list.

Dildos tend to be a bit more complicated, but yet also much more simple. It's just a stick used either to rub along the clitoris or insert into the vagina for vaginal and g-spot stimulation. The insertion form pretty much aims to simulate the act of sex itself, using the dildo as a substitute for the penis. So typically you insert it, and move it with a circular or thrusting motion. Often used mostly to push against the "g-spot" for that particular type of orgasm.
You'll often find vibrating dildos, which combine the shapes, devices, and uses of vibrators and dildos. Much better, to me, than a plain dildo.
Then there are also the step up from the vibrating dildo; the Rabbit. There are all kinds of rabbits now, especially due to a popularity boom after their appearance on Sex & The City a few years back. There are penis shaped dildos with a rabbit shaped vibrator attached to the top; often with many speeds, functions, and little add ons like spinning heads, vibrating beads around the middle, and little ears to get both sides of your clitoris. I've got a more detailed post on the Wascally Wabbit Vibe here.

Masturbation techniques for men:

Unfortunately for men, there's essentially only one basic and typical form of masturbation for men. Pretty much that just involves stroking the penis until orgasm. This is most often called "Jacking Off", which is a term I'm not particularly fond of, but whatever.

*Basic Hand Technique
This is pretty much how every guy who masturbates masturbates. At least, as far as I've been able to tell.
This involves the man cupping this hand around his penis and thrusting it back and forth. Lubricant can be used, along with some kind of barrier to keep from making a mess, but that's about it.

For those few guys who haven't masturbated- I doubt there's any reading this, but hey, I'll go into it anyway- this happens by gripping your penis fully, and stroking yourself back and forth. The idea is to imitate the way the penis thrusts in and out of the vagina.

I wish there was more I could say about this, but I don't know enough guys to really have gone into depth about the process of male masturbation. Sorry.
But there is a really interesting (and sexually graphic, so watch out!) site with different strokes, positions, etc for guys. But watch out, it is really graphic, 18+ please.

*Masturbation Sleeves

These are strange (yet absolutely ingenious) devices created to mimic the feel and function of a vagina, and often the sucking sensation of oral sex.

There's a picture (w/ link) of a very basic one to the right there; just a plastic tube that's tight at the entrance, and (i believe) ridged inside to provide sensation. With this you just insert your penis and pump it back and forth, much like you would do with your hand, but with a more sexually realistic feeling.
Below there's another one that's more complex, made of silicone with lots of ridges, bumps, textures, and areas of tightness. This one is the same, insert penis and thrust.

Then there are vibrating ones, more realistic ones that actually look like vaginas. Novelty ones like Pussy In a Can are popular too, and you can sometimes get them at stores like Spencer's. There are curved ones, jelly ones, electric ones, anal ones, and even some to imitate oral sex. I told you, they're pretty ingenious.

To be continued....

That's all for now. Please leave a comment with some feedback and ideas, I'm really a bit brain dead on this subject and I'd really like to write the things that you want to hear about.

Related Posts: Does God Really Kill Kittens?, Adult Product of the Week- Wabbit,


cathara said...

were you the one who commented on my secretly sinning blog? i just cant click the link there so i dont know if its you but the name is sin so now i think its u :D

anyway, ill tell my guy about this lol...i cant wait for the next part :D

ElizabethBell said...

I love these posts...I would like to add though that the temperature of the water does matter, and if you are not careful you can burn yourself, hehe... Also, as a woman who frequently masturbates without inserting anything into her do not need to insert anything into your vagina to masturbate. Lol! So true though, so true!

Roland Hulme said...

This is an interesting post.

I'll give you some food for thought. I just wrote an article about women (specifically pregnant women) discovering that their husbands masturbate or surf porn on the internet.

I can understand how women feel betrayed or unattractive when that happens, but I'm pretty sure all husbands probably 'rub one out' when their wives say they've got a headache.

What's your take on that scenario? And what's a wife to do?