Friday, May 30, 2008

You Oughta Know...

Just so you know, I have not disappeared, I am just a bit lazy this week. I used to have the problem that I didn't have enough ideas. Now I have too many ideas and I just can't seem to finish any of them. But I'm workin on it.


Here's a list of the articles coming up, in the order they'll hopefully be. So make sure to check back soon ^-^

This Weekend:
1. The ABCs of Sex [hopefully today or tomorrow]
2. Position of the Week [Sunday or Monday]

Next Week:
3. With a Little Help From My Self (final masturbation post)
4. A quick list of book reviews

The Week After Next:
5. One Night Stands and Casual Sex
6. Adult Product Review (the new KY) [maybe next week if I use it sooner]

Future Ideas:
* Sensual Massage as Foreplay
* "Eating In while Eating Out" - The uses and messes of Food in Sex
* Checking the Back Door - Love and Controversy in Anal Play


Don't forget to let me know if there's anything you think I should do more of, a topic I haven't covered that you'd like to see, any questions you'd like answered or situations you want advice on, or... whatever!

<3
Sin

Sunday, May 25, 2008

More Self Lovin

Currently Reading: The Guide To Getting It On!

This is a continuation of The Art of Self Lovin, part 2 of this month's Self Gratification Trilogy. If you've missed it, why not head back to Part 1; Does God Really Kill Kittens, and the b
eginning of this part, The Art of Self Lovin. Otherwise, read on and enjoy. It's pretty long so you're welcome to skip around to the parts you feel like reading.

There are so many misconceptions about Masturbation that it is dizzying. It is said that it's bad for you, that it's sinful, and (this ones rare nowadays but used to be prevalent) that you can die from it. It is still believed that A) women don't masturbate. This mostly stems off of the idea that women do
n't "need" sex and sexual pleasure "the way men do". And B) that all men masturbate.

You couldn't be further from the truth.

Women.

While it's true that many women tend to have more inhibitions about it than men (we are taught since infancy that it is wrong, dirty, or inappropriate to touch ourselves "down there", so what else are we
supposed to think? While with boys it is assumed that they're going to touch themselves at some point. Not to mention that many girls don't even know that they can give themselves pleasure, especially "down there".) but it doesn't mean that most women don't do it anyway. In fact, so many women masturbate despite these teachings, and end up feeling that what their doing is wrong, and are left with a feeling of guilt and shame, often convinced that what they're doing is some kind of mortal sin. To me, that seems really really sad, and completely unfair.

But regardless of why or when, women do masturbate. Not necessarily all of them, but many many many. And they do it in all sorts of ways.
Speaking of vagina, has anybody seen the movie "Teeth" yet? Is it even out yet? No idea...gotta check that out... Will definitely do a review when I manage to see it.
K, my most hypocritical "bi" friend (who always complains about not getting laid, but when she did, she whine that it was weird, gross, and un-pleasurable) had a birthday last fall, and while we were at a local (lacking) adult store w/ Bell (Elizabeth Bell) simply out of boredom and because K had never been, I bought her a small Power Bullet (my review for this item). She complained and complained about how she "didn't masturbate" because she didn't "need" to masturbate. Finding these statements ridiculous (as you can probably guess I did, if you've read anything by me about masturbation), hypocritical, and - in a way- ignorant, I bought it anyway and stuffed it into her purse whether she liked it or not.
A month or two later she finally admitted to using it the night before, and took a sort of pride in how much she did
n't like it. It felt "weird", she said, which is actually what I'd expect from someone who'd never really orgasmed before, but I still couldn't accept the answer from her because of her spiteful hate of the activity. I doubt she really did finish as it is, but even if she did, orgasm really can be pretty damned weird when you're not used to it. Maybe she didn't do it right. Granted it's a pretty hard activity to fuck up, but this is a girl who's never really looked at her vagina, never had an STD test, yet lets lots of girls and guys get down there, and somehow still thinks that "all vaginas look the same".
Exactly.

Here's a quick technique found at LetsMasturbate.com.

*"Put a pillow on a chair. Place a Venus butterfly or another battery-operated toy on the pillow. Straddle the chair so that you can hold on to the back and lower yourself onto your vibrator so that it touches your clit. Turn on your vibrator and move back and forth. Since it's hands free, I've had some kno
ck your socks off orgasms this way!"
Did you know that "In 1994 Dr. Jocelyn Elders—the second woman appointed to the position of U.S. Surgeon General— lost her job as Surgeon General because she dared to say that masturbation should actually be taught in schools."
Poor thing. I wish I'd been old enough then to stand up against that. Can you imagine? She actually lost her job over this silly, natural, harmless thing, all because it was sexual! It's infuriating! This country makes me want to move to Canada. Someone let me know if it's better there.
Men

It's quite often assumed that all men masturbate. While this could be considered close to the truth, I must put down that not all men masturbate. Many of those who don't just don't see it necessary, some may just be too prude to do such (I've known some of those), and some just don't like it or don't think they need it.

That said, most guys masturbate. It's just the way things are. Personally, I think it's because it's so much easier (and obvious) for men than it is for woman. If you had to look at, adjust, and handle your sexual organ every single day, you'd be a little more aware of what you could do with it too.

Here are two quick male techniques, since their weren't very helpful ones in the first part, found on AskMen.com.

*The plastic bag - In your bedroom (or someone else's if you wish), fill a plastic sandwich bag with petroleum jelly and put your erect penis in the bag, squishing the jelly so that your entire penis is covered. Then, place your penis, still in the bag, between the mattress and the box spring. Pump in and out to orgasm. The best part? No mess.

*The cold climax - In the first of our masturbation techniques, masturbate as you normally would, but when you feel the sensation of ejaculation coming on, grab hold of some ice cubes or crushed ice with the other hand, then continue masturbating to completion. The feeling of cold in one hand, heat in the other, and the sensation of ejaculating will enhance the experience.


Discomfort
For those of you nervous or uncomfortable with masturbation (or your sexual body), it's
Many people (like K) are uncomfortable about masturbation and other taboo sex subjects
important for you to at least learn the reasons behind your discomfort. because despite how liberal and free minded they try to be when it comes to being sexual, crossing boundaries, and issues of "free love", they are still ingrained with the basic teachings and ideals of their society while growing up. They are still stuck with the same mindset that sex is dirty. That it's okay for someone else to touch you there (often only if you love or are married to that person), but not okay for you to touch yourself there; it's too dirty. This often starts at infancy when children are told not to touch themselves. We won't even tell our children what their sexual organs are for godssake! It's not a penis or vagina, it's a peepee.

Whether we realize it or not, that is the beginning of our complexes when it comes to our sexual bodies. We don't give stupid nicknames to kids eyes, feet, or ears, do we? Why the fuck can't we just call the body parts by their biological names?
You may think it'd be weird, but think about it. If you have children, they're learning everything (at first) from you. When you teach them about their body, why not their entire body? "Thats your arrrrm, your tooooes, your peeeenis, your beeeeelly!"

My little sister took her 5th grade "Puberty" class a few months back, and when she was through she could name three different brands of pads and show you what to do with them, but she didn't know what a vagina was. That! is a big problem.

Anyway.
The point is that we have to understand where are bias and negative feelings are coming from. Think about yourself. Where do your ideas
really come from? Books, media, family? How many of them actually stem from your own wants? Your own research into a subject that you just thought you needed to know more about? Your actual, logical teachings from school? From your upbringing and childhood?
How many of them come from your church?

I am fine with people having their own opinions about masturbation, that's what life is. But with having your own opinions about anything it requires two responsibilities. 1) You don't try to force those with opposite viewpoints towards your ideal. I've had people argue that that's what I do, but I beg to differ. Unless I say otherwise, my intentions here are to educate, to throw facts, logic, and opinions into the world in hopes that someone will read them and it will help them in some way. My intention is for people to know about these subjects, maybe experiment with or research these subjects, and then form their own opinions about them. 2) You know why you have the opinion you do. People should know why they think what they think and (hopefully) have a logical reasoning behind those ideals. I hope that people can go beyond the taboos and bigotry that has been pushed at them and impressed into their brains and eyes and mouths for so many years because of peoples ignorance and idiocy.
By thinking, really thinking about your ideas and opinions and where they come from, you can learn so much about yourself. It's like delving into an ocean of thought that you've never been able to explore before.
That fear you have of touching your own sex organ? Maybe that stemmed from your mothers harshness about sexuality and waiting until marriage. Your disgust with seeing a penis? Maybe that comes from the time you walked in on your brother masturbating. Your insecurity about your body, masculinity/femininity, or your sexuality? Maybe that comes from a family members verbal abuse as a child or teenager.
The point is that once you trace back these ideas, fears, and opinions, you have the option of what to do with it. Perhaps you can bring yourself to accept the weirdness of what started this and, over time, learn to accept your body or adapt your problem. Or maybe you'll find that you are okay with that problem, with that origin, and you'll say "okay, well, I think I'll stay this way for now". But either way the important part becomes this; after doing this you become more in control of your own body, your own thoughts; your own sexuality. This is important.


I really hope this isn't too long for everybody. I got to rambling again. Here's a quick fic, followed by some info about next time and about the new fiction stuff.

I imagined her in bed, surrounded by her bright pink bedsheets, her hand thrusting wildly against her pelvis, her fingers thrusting into her pussy as she moaned my name. The image drove me wild, my hand pressing harder against my clit in small, quick circles. My breath came faster, my heart racing as a tightness grew deep inside me. I moved my hand down, just for a moment, to slide two fingers into my throbbing pussy. My fingers came out slick and wet. They went instantly back to my clit, the liquid making the motions smoother, faster, better. The new, wet sensation made me gasp, my back arching slightly. I moaned, my free hand gripping my breasts. Caressing, squeezing, pinching. I couldn't slow down my gasping huffs of breath, and I no longer wanted to.
My fingers slid over my clit; faster, harder. I imagined Eva's breasts, jiggling delicately from the force of her arm's motions. The image brought a noise, part moan and part grunt, tearing from my lips as my fingers thrust back into my vagina. The pressure built and my thrusts became fierce, pushing my fingers as far as they could go into my depths. I added a finger and bent them against the inner flesh, pushing against that perfect spot inside. My back bowed as a sharp tingling pleasure shot up my spine. My hand on my breast pushed me back down, grabbing a nipple and pinching, making me cry out and thrust my hand further into myself.
Inhibitions lost I moaned her name, my fingers moving back to my clitoris, thrusting against it. A warmth built somewhere below my pubic bone, spreading in a tingling wave down my legs and up my back. My muscles began to tighten, clenching against my fingers as I slid them back inside to flick against my g-spot.
~Sin Secret
In the Final Part of the Self Gratification trilogy (even though there will be four parts when we're done), we'll cover why Masturbation is actually good for you, Historical figures who've helped masturbation, Further Reading ideas, and a quick intro on How to Talk to Children about Masturbation (which will, in the future, evolve into how to talk to children about sex itself).

In case you're the least bit curious, the italicized block of text is a bit of erotic fiction (by me) that is appropriate for the post. Hopefully I'll have these in most of the posts in the future, at the top of Position posts as a sort of fictional description of the position, and at the bottom of all others (that way if you don't want to read them you don't have to).
Hopefully I'll have some guest stories occasionally (particularly by Bell if she'll ever send me anything) to mix it up a bit and you don't get tired of my mediocre attempts.

If any of you ever want to contribute, please let me know and I'll let you know what posts/topics are coming up to see if you're interested. ^-^ Could work as a bit of advertising for those of you who have your own site or blog.

Until next time, have fun and play safe!
<3 href="http://sinssecret.blogspot.com/2008/04/does-god-really-kill-kittens.html">Does God Really Kill Kittens, The Art of Self Lovin, You Want to Take a Hot Bath, He Wants To Masturbate, The Sex Taboo

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

"You want to take a hot bath, he wants to jack off"

Currently Reading: Sex and Sensibility: 28 True Romances from the Lives of Single Women by Genevieve Field

Here's a quick post in response to a comment I received on the Art of Self Lovin. It turned out far longer than I expected, and I'm really sorry. I apparently think and talk a lot....
"I just wrote an article about women (specifically pregnant women) discovering that their husbands masturbate or surf porn on the internet.

I can understand how women feel betrayed or unattractive when that happens, but I'm pretty sure all husbands probably 'rub one out' when their wives say they've got a headache.

What's your take on that scenario? And what's a wife to do?"

-Roland Hulme
(advice is on the bottom, in case you want to skip over this)
I actually used to have this problem myself. But I don't anymore. It takes a certain realization, I guess.
Women are raised to believe that you have to keep your husband/boyfriend happy. We are taught by peers, parents, media, and society that if your man isn't happy (read, "getting what he 'needs'"), he'll find someone else who will make them happy (read, "put out").

The reason this ties into the...fear of masturbation, is that women get the idea that if their guy is masturbating or watching porn, it must mean that they aren't getting what they "need" from them, and looking for it elsewhere, whether that be masturbation, porn, playboys, whatever.

This is actually a pretty disturbing concept and one that I hope women everywhere can learn to abandon.

One part of the fact is that sex doesn't have to be something emotional, it honestly doesn't. For women, it tends to be thanks to some crazy psychological chemicals, but it is a biological act. People don't have sex because they need it, no matter what people say. People have sex because it feels good and they want it. We all want the things that feel good, right? We want to eat our favorite foods, get great massages, ride roller coasters, and take hot baths. The difference between men and women when it comes to "need"ing sex is that women are raised to be accustomed to not having sex (if at all). Men, however, start masturbating at an early age (as i've said, it's easier to figure out what you body wants when you are coming into contact with your sex organ all day every day), and it is tolerated, if not encouraged, where if women are caught masturbating, they're lectured, told that what they did was wrong. It ends up making it so that sexual pleasure is practically second nature to many guys, but practically a foreign language to many women.

Because of this, the idea that men should withhold from sexual pleasure while their wives are pregnant is a little silly. I mean, yeah, while your miserable, bloated, nauseous, and as big as a whale, you secretly hope that your husband is as miserable as you, but really, why bother? Women can masturbate (and have sex, for some time) while pregnant, they just don't want to, or don't even think to. Men, however, do think to. Often. It's not that they aren't happy with their wives, or that they like porn better than their wives/girlfriends, it's just that masturbation feels good, and there's not really any reason not to do it. Perhaps they don't want to bother their pregnant, sick, or exhausted wife with the idea of sex. Or maybe they're alone a lot while their wife is working, and chooses porn or masturbation when he a) misses her or b) is simply aroused and wants to go with it. Or maybe theirs something that arouses him that he is embarrassed to admit to his wife this...*shrug* fetish, so he satisfies that arousal alone.

There are lots of reasons for men to masturbate, and very few (but not none) of them have to do with anything...adulterous or...well, negative towards their wives/girlfriends. It could be worse, they could be having sex with someone else. I don't know about most women, but I'd rather my guy have sex with himself than another woman. I figure they'd rather have that too.

W was once too embarrassed to admit that he had masturbated while I was at work. I straightened him out quick. I admit that it is fairly odd to find out that your partner has been masturbating, but it's nothing to get worried about. Don't get me wrong, it is possible to masturbated too much, i.e. when it gets in the way of your regular relationships, activities and obligations, but just because your with someone doesn't mean you can't masturbate.

Before I close, let me just say that I'm not a guy (obviously), and I can't say what men feel, think, or want with a real assurance or authority. What I've written (which is, unfortunately, a lot, and I'm sorry for that) is what seems to be natural and normal to me. I'm sure any guy would put it differently, but this is how I see it. I'm no expert, but I tend to believe in myself.

But even if some of my details are off, my point is this; masturbation is not cheating and it does not mean your husband/boyfriend/partner doesn't find you attractive. While it might involve fantasies, other womens nudity, or something of the sort, just because a man masturbates doesn't mean he doesn't love, appreciate, or want his wife/girlfriend/partner.

My advice to women is to...well, two things really.
A) Deal with it. Most of all learn that it doesn't necessarily have to do with you, or your husband/boyfriend/partner not wanting/liking you anymore. If he didn't want you, he wouldn't be with you (hopefully). Learn to accept that your husband wants to feel something that feels good, just like you would. You want to take a hot bath and get a massage, he wants to jack off. That sounds a bit pissy, I know, but women tend to have this prudish idea of sex when it comes to certain things that are beyond their comfort zone. We as a society need to look past that. Sexual expression is just like any other type of expression, and it's as varied, individual, and important as speech, religion, and press, and it deserves the same freedoms. People come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sexual preferences, that's just the way it is. Mental borders will not keep out what makes you uncomfortable, it just keeps you from adapting to them.

B) (and this is the better advice) is to talk to your husband/boyfriend/partner. If he/she is looking up porn, reading playboy, or masturbating, ask him about it. Maybe ask why he does it, or why he enjoys it. Understand that these will probably hard questions, and it might take him time to answer them. If he can answer them at all. More than likely, it's just something he wants to do, and it has nothing to do with you or any form of infidelity. If you want, go ahead and ask him if it's because there's anything wrong with the relationship. You'll also have to understand that he probably won't want to admit it if there is, but encourage him to be completely honest, and make sure that you are being completely accepting/open minded/understanding. Don't have him be honest and then treat him with disdain or anger when he tells you what he's really feeling.
If the fact that he's looking to porn or masturbation for pleasure really bothers you, I'm talkin you can't stand it and would rather leave him than have him do it, than tell him you disapprove. Don't expect him to be okay with that fact, but let him know that it really bothers you that he does that, and you don't want him to do it anymore. Communication is so important for healthy relationships and sex lives. Let him know what you really feel, and let him tell you how he really feels. Try your best to be as open and accepting as possible, and if you can't be, make sure he knows where you stand, and you come to some form of understanding about the matter.

I'll stop right here, before this takes up the whole main page. I'm really sorry it got so long, maybe I can come back and cut it a bit later on.

Anyway. Good luck, play safe, and have fun.
I'm gonna go watch Doctor Who.

<3
Sin

Sunday, May 18, 2008

The Art of Self Lovin

Currently Reading: Guide To Getting It On!

This is part two of my Self Gratification Trilogy. You may want to head back to part one, Does God Really Kill Kittens? If not, on with the show!

Quick Disclaimer: Many links in this post lead to more sexually graphic sites with nudity and realistic sexual
products. While I work hard to keep Sin's Secret PG-13, some links have more R/NC-17 images. I am not responsible if you find a link or product you feel is inappropriate. Just FYI.

May is National Masturbation Month!
Let's take advantage of this time to focus on Self Gratification; what it is, how it's done, and what's so awesome of it!

The dictionary defines masturbation as:
1.the stimulation or manipulation of one's own genitals, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.


Fun fun fun.

Masturbation is really just getting yourself "off" sexually, whether by means of your hand, an inanimate object (such as a candle, etc), an adult toy (i.e. a vibrator or sleeve), or sometimes another persons hand (although that's no quite masturbation any more).

As I said in Part 1, masturbation has a pretty bad rep. It's seen as gross, pathetic, and desperate, which is how it's usually portrayed in movies and television. It gives the idea that you wouldn't have to masturbate if you could get anything different, and treated like a loser's alternative to sex.

That is so far from the truth. Personally, I've been in a relationship for almost 8 months now, and a month hasn't gone by where I didn't masturbate at least twice. Even my boyfriend admits to masturbating every now and then. It's actually especially helpful when we want our sexual activities to last a little longer, because finishing first without my help can help prolong his performance.
Really, people have to acknowledge and understand the idea that masturbation isn't just a pathetic release. It is healthy, safe, STD and Heartbreak free, and can be done any time you want (although I will assert that it is rude to do it anywhere that is not private, unless those around you are okay with you doing it).

Being that it is National Masturbation Month, lets use this sequel post to go over some of the techniques of masturbation.

Once I started the techniques for women, I just couldn't stop writing. I'll try to trim it down, but I might have to turn this into a quartet....>.< (and yes, the product images link back to a site you can buy them at)


Masturbation techniques for women:


It's a common misconception that women don't masturbate. That it's a boy thing and girls don't like (or need) sex or sexual pleasure "the way guys do". I'll talk about this more in Part 2/3, for now lets get on to the fun parts.

There are all kinds of ways to "get yourself off". The two basics, using your hands (and maybe lubricant to make everything slippery and easy), are just that; basic, stepping stones to bigger and better things.
So lets get started (we won't finish yet). We'll just do two basic ones for each gender here, and continue on in part 2.

*The Faucet Method.
This was my first experience with masturbation. You can interpret that however you'd like, but it was. After having the horrible suspicion that something was sexually wrong with me, I scoured the world wide web for techniques to...try myself out, and "practice" my sexuality. (I actually had to tell myself I was "practicing", so I didn't feel like I was actually masturbating, because that would have been shameful, even though nobody knew or anything)
This involves you, your clitoris, and a bathtub.

Start out by laying in your bathtub (long ways), with your legs over the short edge, or up against the wall (a great stretching technique, btw), your hips positioned so your pubic area is right below the faucet.
This can be a bit frustrating or uncomfortable at first, but it gets better and easier as you adjust.

Turn on the water.
Now, if you're a beginnger, or have an especially sensitive clitoris or vaginal area (for example, Bell claims to not really be able to do this because she's so sensitive), you may want to start the water on really low, or position yourself so that the water is hitting the area between your inner thigh and other labia (lip), and raise the pressure as or move yourself as you adjust.

Temperature wise, I typically start with warm water or hot water (be very careful if you're not used to too much heat; I love the heat), then raise it for a while before adding in cold- because after a while the temperature doesn't really matter, all you can feel is the sensation. And hopefully those sensations will be fantastic.

Just keep yourself there and adjust the water and your position as feelings grow and change.
Before I started using a vibrator (and for a while after as well), this was my favorite form of masturbation. I love the warmth and the feeling.

(This can also be done with a detachable shower head. And it's much more comfy. Those things rock.

*Foreign Objects.
This is really my broad term for the use of any foreign object (physical object, not like...literature or porn) to stimulate the "pleasure spots". The most popular items are dildos and vibrators. (But I've heard of women using crazy stuff from candles to cucumbers, beer bottles to cell phones, Popsicles to teddy bears to lobsters. Yeah, I said lobsters. You don't want to know.

Anyway. I've tried dildos and vibrators (like the Power Bullet-my review), and as I've said, vibrators are my favorite. I just don't get internal stimulation like most people. Vibrator provide gentle to strong sensations of pulses, waves, and constant buzzing to your clitoris to create stimulation and cause orgasm. You put it there, move it around, and orgasm. (although it tends to be more difficult than that) Sounds simple, right?

Then there are the other clitoral stimulation toys. Such as the Clit Massager over there. These use different sensations to stimulate the clitoris, such as sucking motions. Tends to try to stimulate oral sex. I've never used one, but this one on the side is totally on my wish list.

Dildos tend to be a bit more complicated, but yet also much more simple. It's just a stick used either to rub along the clitoris or insert into the vagina for vaginal and g-spot stimulation. The insertion form pretty much aims to simulate the act of sex itself, using the dildo as a substitute for the penis. So typically you insert it, and move it with a circular or thrusting motion. Often used mostly to push against the "g-spot" for that particular type of orgasm.
You'll often find vibrating dildos, which combine the shapes, devices, and uses of vibrators and dildos. Much better, to me, than a plain dildo.
Then there are also the step up from the vibrating dildo; the Rabbit. There are all kinds of rabbits now, especially due to a popularity boom after their appearance on Sex & The City a few years back. There are penis shaped dildos with a rabbit shaped vibrator attached to the top; often with many speeds, functions, and little add ons like spinning heads, vibrating beads around the middle, and little ears to get both sides of your clitoris. I've got a more detailed post on the Wascally Wabbit Vibe here.


Masturbation techniques for men:

Unfortunately for men, there's essentially only one basic and typical form of masturbation for men. Pretty much that just involves stroking the penis until orgasm. This is most often called "Jacking Off", which is a term I'm not particularly fond of, but whatever.

*Basic Hand Technique
This is pretty much how every guy who masturbates masturbates. At least, as far as I've been able to tell.
This involves the man cupping this hand around his penis and thrusting it back and forth. Lubricant can be used, along with some kind of barrier to keep from making a mess, but that's about it.

For those few guys who haven't masturbated- I doubt there's any reading this, but hey, I'll go into it anyway- this happens by gripping your penis fully, and stroking yourself back and forth. The idea is to imitate the way the penis thrusts in and out of the vagina.

I wish there was more I could say about this, but I don't know enough guys to really have gone into depth about the process of male masturbation. Sorry.
But there is a really interesting (and sexually graphic, so watch out!) site with different strokes, positions, etc for guys. But watch out, it is really graphic, 18+ please.

*Masturbation Sleeves

These are strange (yet absolutely ingenious) devices created to mimic the feel and function of a vagina, and often the sucking sensation of oral sex.

There's a picture (w/ link) of a very basic one to the right there; just a plastic tube that's tight at the entrance, and (i believe) ridged inside to provide sensation. With this you just insert your penis and pump it back and forth, much like you would do with your hand, but with a more sexually realistic feeling.
Below there's another one that's more complex, made of silicone with lots of ridges, bumps, textures, and areas of tightness. This one is the same, insert penis and thrust.

Then there are vibrating ones, more realistic ones that actually look like vaginas. Novelty ones like Pussy In a Can are popular too, and you can sometimes get them at stores like Spencer's. There are curved ones, jelly ones, electric ones, anal ones, and even some to imitate oral sex. I told you, they're pretty ingenious.

To be continued....

That's all for now. Please leave a comment with some feedback and ideas, I'm really a bit brain dead on this subject and I'd really like to write the things that you want to hear about.



Related Posts: Does God Really Kill Kittens?, Adult Product of the Week- Wabbit,

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Position of the Week #

Currently Reading: The Little Bit Naughty Book of Kama Sutra Positions (Little Bit Naughty Book Of...) by

This week, lets do a simple one especially for the guys out there.

Reverse Cowgirl

This is a variation of the Cowgirl position, which essentially is just the woman on top. The Cowgirl allows the man to relax more and enjoy the ride while the woman is able to control the speed, thrusting, etc to her own comfort.
The Reverse Cowgirl offers these same benefits, plus a few others, and many variations (hence all the pictures). Let's talk about them all.

We'd only been in our first position for a few minutes before he sat up, pulling me with him, and lifted my body above his.

"Turn around" he growled, laying out and placing me over his hips. I did as he said, straddling him, and found myself facing the wall, his legs sprawled out in front of me and him entering me from underneath. I wasn't sure what to do but began to move slowly, teasingly slow.

My hips rocked forward gently, raising ever so slightly to pull myself away from him, only to thrust back quick but careful. I could hear his moans behind me as I moved.
I leaned forward and was met with a harsh, pleasured groan as the angle of his entrance changed and my inner muscles clenched around him. I grabbed hold of his knees, rough and dry from earlier activities on the floor, and thrust myself harder against him.

His nails found the skin of my thighs, digging into the flesh, making my back arch and my breath catch in my throat. H
e grabbed me by that flesh and lifted me, then slammed be back down, thrusting himself harder and harder inside me. The sensation was sharp and wonderful, spreading from that center within, up through my pelvis and stomach, making my mind whirl and my thoughts loose focus.

I rocked my hips, harder, faster, matching his movements, driven by his erotic cries. Deeper, fuller, rougher, stronger. I found myself dancing above him to a chorus of him moaning my name.

-Sin Secret

First, as I said, this position lets the man sit back and enjoy the show. Basic positions like Missionary, Doggy Style, etc, typically have the man "in charge", with more control. While this can be great most of the time because the guy gets to kind of do whatever he wants, I'm sure it can get tiring, always doing the most work. This position allows him the chance to not have to do any work, and just be able to enjoy the sex. Supposedly it can even prolong the man's erection.

Second, this allows the woman a "seat of power" throughout the act. She can control how fast you go, the angle of entry, and how deep the thrust is. It is also said that the right angle here can hit the G-spot just right.
A quick note to you potential reverse cowgirls; make sure you give yourself time to adjust to the new position. If you're new to it, you'll have to start slowly so that your vagina and the muscles around it adjust to the new way the penis is entering, otherwise it can be a bit of a pain.

Now, for guys the regular Cowgirl provides a view of the womans thrusting body and bouncing chest. Unfortunately the Reverse doesn't allow that so much. If a mirror is included, it could, and that is quite common, but otherwise the only thing you get a good view of is your partners ass. That can be good or bad depending, but hopefully you like her ass. Either way, it provides a good view for those who are especially attracted to that part of the body. This does give you the thighs to grab on to, which can be very sexy if you or your girl are into nails or tight grips, and the fact that the thighs are within reach means that in extreme bouts of passion, the man can grab the woman and increase the speed or thrust, if he so pleases.
Depending on the size of the two of you, the man may have enough reach to fondle the pubic area/clitoris, or the breasts. This is especially true if the woman leans back, as in the picture to the side. The woman can also lean forward onto the mans bent knees, which can provide her support, a different angle, and a little better control. Also allows the guy more moving room.

It also has to be mentioned to be careful! In this position the penis can end up at an odd angle, which can become very uncomfortable for the guy (and girl), but can also hurt something very very badly. You'd think a penis would be hard to "break", but in certain positions is actually rather easy.
Ever had a girl on top and she went up a little too far and came down a little too fast? Caught the penis somehow and made a scary POP sound? I know I've done that quite a few times with W. It can get a little nerve-wracking, makes us stop and take a breather. If done right (or maybe that should be wrong), that POP can create permanent damage, especially in the Reverse position because you can easily and unconsciously bend the penis too far back. So watch yourself.
I assume this can also be used for anal sex, but would carry similar warning signs. Mixing the awkward position with the fragility of the anal tissues could be worrisome. But I'm sure it can be done. I'll have to ask someone about that...

Personally, I haven't tried this one in quite a while, because lately I've been sticking to some tried and true favorites, more than branching out to different ones. But occasionally I enjoy being on top, and this one is one I sometimes choose. Although, (to me) seems a bit less awkward than the Cowgirl because you're not facing your partner, but also a bit more awkward because you're facing the guys toes instead.

But really, it depends what you're into. This is definitely liked, because it's in porn all the time, and it's no wonder when you get to see the girl bouncing, moaning, and writhing above you (or whoever you're watching).

That's all for today!
Play safe!

Related Posts: Position O/T Week !, Position O/T Week @, Does God Really Kill Kittens?

*Disclaimer* All written work here (and anywhere on my site) is by me and is my property, unless otherwise stated. On the flip side, all artwork is not mine and is found in various places around the internet and not mine to claim, unless otherwise stated.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Coming Soon to a Blog Near You...


Currently Reading: The Harlequin by Laurell K. Hamilton


Most Recent Poll Results:

What do YOU Want to Talk About???
Sex! (duh...don't click this one....)
5 (16%)
Protection & Contraception
2 (6%)
Sexual Harassment
0 (0%)
Positions, Techniques, Tips, Etc.
12 (40%)
The History Of Sex
6 (20%)
Masturbation
17 (56%)
One Night Stands
6 (20%)
Abortion
1 (3%)
Homosexuality
5 (16%)
Anal/Oral (Please comment w/ specifics)
5 (16%)
BDSM
4 (13%)
Other (please comment w/ specifics)
1 (3%)

So that means future posts for the moment will focus on...

Masturbation (Thats this months theme, being National Masturbation Month)

Positions, Techniques, Tips, etc (This is slightly covered by the Position of the Week, but I'm working to both improve those posts, as well as get more tips/techniques available. This would be much easier if people would send me questions or-maybe- ideas)

And future articles for the less requested ones like BDSM, Anal/Oral, History, and Homosexuality.

It makes me kind of sad that Contraception got only 2 votes. Oh well. It's not like I'm not going to talk about it anyway.

So now I'm taking that poll down and replacing it. With the next Many Ways to Play Safe I'll take down the contraception poll as well.

Tonight or tomorrow I'll have the new Position of the Week, so make sure to check back. I'm hoping to start including a new concept in them, I'll see you then.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Odwalla What?

(My inter webs is currently down and out, so until I manage to get it back, Sin's Secret is running on backup posts. See you in a few days!)

Currently Reading: 269 Amazing Sex Games by Hugh De Beer

Along with sex, I created this blog to help people in the area of health, both sexual and general. I think everyone should stay healthy, so I like to talk about it. Just not often, so I only incorporate health into Sin's Secret when I have something particular to say.

That said, I love health food. Really, I'm all for it.
If it's supposed to boost your immune system, give you energy, keep you from getting a cold, strengthen your villi, build up your stomach lining, calm your nerves, or make you horny as a cat in heat, I'm willing to try it. Earth Fare's one of my favorite stores because pretty much everything there is F-ing cool. It's all so pretty, so fresh, and so friggin' healthy.

But really, what- the fuck!- is up with Odwalla?

I wanted to like it. I swear, I really did; I really tried. But seriously, I don't understand how anyone can ingest that crap!

For one thing, it's expensive, 2.99 for a bottle that- if it tasted good- I could drink in a sitting. Health food's expensive, yeah, but usually it's also worth it. To me, this isn't.

Opening my Chocolate Protein Super Protein Soymilk Protein drink, (after shaking, of course), I'm instantly hit with a smell that's both sweet and rancid, like rotten edamame (soy beans). Now I love good brands of soy milk- and chocolate soy milk- to a degree, and I recognize the taste and the smell. This is not that smell.

The taste is okay, if a bit dirt-y and dull. Not dirty as in messy, dirt-y as in like dirt. There is chocolate, definitely, but only as a granular slime used as a botched cover up of that rancid taste, and mostly appears fleetingly as soon as the liquid hits your tongue, and right as it's sliding down your throat. I will give you, however, that the chocolate taste itself is pretty good. It claims "Delicious Dutch Cocoa dream", and I would assert that if the entire drink were made of that stuff, instead of less than 2% of it, it would be pretty damn tasty.

And! I was doing some research for pictures for this entry, and found something really interesting.

Odwalla is owned by Coca-Cola.

Imagine that. The product that claims it's mission as to "nourish People", "respect our Planet", "protect the Soil", and "create good products for the Soul" is parented by one of the most eco-unfriendly companies in the world. Tsk tsk odwalla! But really, no wonder it's so expensive, being owned by Coke and all. Money-hunger bastards. Anyway. Knowing that might actually keep me from buying the stuff. Not that the price doesn't already (along with the taste).

Beyond the taste comes the texture. I picked this up because A) my friend G had a bottle of Vanilla Almond Odwalla yesterday that was pretty okay, and I was looking for that as a lunch substitute, but they didn't have it, so this was my only creamy option, and B) because of the words "Silky-smooth shakeup" somewhere on the colorful, explanatory back. I love silky smooth drinks. Silky smooth anything actually, but that's probably another story, involving sex, as my stories usually do.
But really, of all the lies. This drink is not, in the least bit, silky smooth. I can say that it has a sort of silky-slimy feeling when you first take a gulp, but smooth is not at all how I would describe it. Perhaps its the >2% of cocoa powder they used, because I know soy milk tends to be really smooth, but this stuff is grainy. Not enough that the average person would notice (I'm super observant when it comes to food and drink, they are my second passion), but enough that it leaves that semi-dry feeling on your tongue after you've swallowed and your mouth is clear of the stuff. This feeling drives me absolutely crazy. You can't claim silky-smoothness and then deliver chalky. No no no.


Keep in mind, however, that the bottle is still in my hands. It is half way empty. I still drank it.

Yes, I am a hypocrite, upside down and inside out.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Adult Product of the Week - The Power of the Sun in the Palm of Your....

Currently Reading: The Walk of Shame: A Survival Guide by Robin Anderton and Jay Desario

This weeks product is another female product (sorry guys, yours will be next, I promise; it requires me to get something for W and try it out). I picked this one because it's simple, discreet, cheap, and effective. So I'll try to be the same. Minus the cheap part...

So let's talk about The Power Bullet Clitoral Vibrator

The basics:
This teeny little thing will run you abou
t $8 - $14, depending where you get it and if it's a "name brand" or a basic one. The link above is for the Adam & Eve version, but you can get one just about anywhere. I bought one during a trip to the local "fancy" adult store with/for my friend K. There is was about nine bucks, I believe.
They come in all colors and shades, usually take watch batteries, have a slick, metal texture, and pack one hell of a punch. Use this thing in the wrong area when your not ready for it and you're body'll spasm so fast you'll pull a muscle. Or bang your head on the bathroom cabinet, which I've done.

The best thing about these is that they are so small, but work so well. You get the occasional review about not lasting long enough, or being too small, but the typical responses are fantastic. The thing will slide right into your pocket or any hidden area in your purse. Some even come with little sleeves to put them in, like those mini tampons, so even just bouncing around it your bag no one would notice. I love sex with a vibrator included, so having this thing tucked away in your bag allows for that extra oomph in even the most spontaneous of encounters.

Another g
reat thing is the variety of uses. Sure, there's the basic vibrator to clitoris equals orgasm, but it can also be used to stimulate the G-spot, or (for guys) it can be placed on the perineum- the soft area between the scrotum (balls) and the anus. This creates crazy high sensations for the guy, like hitting a girls G-spot just right. For some guys this will have to be a sort of push with the vibrator, applying a good amount of pressure, but for others it will have to be such light pressure that it's barely touching the skin at all, it just depends.
Then there are the silicon sleeves that the bullet can be slipped into for different textures. From studs to ripples to spikes to waves, these are supposed to mix up the sensations. Personally, they don't do much for me, but supposedly it's good for sensitive women who like different feelings.
And of course an extra nifty part is that a bullet vibrator can be used as an extra or backup in other sex toys. Especially those awesome vibrating "love rings", such as this one, this one, or this one (none of which I've used, by the way, I'm just giving examples). These "love rings" work awesome for couples wh
o are either in need of some extra stimulations (for both parties), are having trouble staying erect (on the mans part), or just looking for something fun and new to try. And your little bullet will slide right into those if the vibrator it came with dies out, so you'll never have that battery problem (mentioned below).


There are, however, two main downfalls to this nifty little thing. First, is that there is only one setting. Personally, and I assume for most women it's the same, I prefer to have multiple settings so that I can start slow and adjust to the sensations before jumping into the top speed. You can't do that will this, it's all strong all the time.
[The cure for this, I've found, by the way, is to start off in a less sensitive area, like the pubic mound or right on the edges of your outer lips, then move further into the middle and towards the clitoris as you become adjusted.]
The second downfall is the batteries. Watch batteries are damned expensive, between 5 and 15 dollars depending on the store and brand, and this thing wears them down pretty hard every couple of uses. It's kind of like those printers that only cost like 30 dollars, and then you find out the ink is almost as much, and you have to get new ink every month or two. It gets to be annoying. For me, however, it works out pretty well, especially because it isn't my only vibrator, so I don't end up desperate if the bullet is battery-less.


You know, let me know if I'm sounding like a PR sponsor for Adam & Eve's because I really don't want to. Our local sex columnist does that and it's annoying and useless as hell. Yes, I provide links to their site because Yes, if you buy something I do make some money because Yes I am really broke, but I Don't want you to think that the only reason I have product reviews is because I'm an Adam & Eve affiliate. Seriously, I do actually review these things so that you have an idea of what kind of products are out there and how they've worked out (for me), and such. The A & E thing is just my pathetic way of attempting to make extra money for my rent and kill my two birds with one stone, but really, it is not my reasoning for doing the reviews to begin with, I promise.

Anyway.

Play safe!!


Related Posts: Adult Product of the Week 1, First Experiences; the Female Condom, Does God Really Kill Kittens?

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Does God Really Kill Kittens?

Currently Listening To: Secret by Maroon 5 from Songs About Jane

According to many, masturbation is dirty, wrong, sinful.... what have you. Why?

I think it's amazing that people claim that sexual acts are unnatural, especially masturbation, which contains no risk of STD, pregnancy, or heart break (although too much may result in muscle strain, dizziness, or throwing out your back...^-^).

No one gets offended when you scratch your back when it itches, right? That feels good, right? Duh, it feels damned good. Essentially, sexual pleasure is the same as that, it's just your body's reaction to a physical stimuli, just like scratching your back or eating your absolute favorite food.

In movies and television, masturbation is only used to portray the awkward, "pathetic", icky parts of teenage life. Other sexual acts, mainly oral sex and intercourse, are glorified and glamorized while self stimulation is scorned, looked down on, and laughed at. It creates the mentality that A) masturbation is gross, or B) people only masturbate when they're not getting what they "need" (read want) sexually.

Now I will admit that I'm not fond of watching a guy masturbate. I had a bad experience with my bad ex, and it just grosses me out. Yes, I've told you before, I am a hypocrite. But it's a well known "rule" in my relationship that masturbation is A-OK! as long as it's not in front of me. And it's a bit weird if I'm like, in the next room, but that's still okay.

Did you know Britney Spears wrote a song about masturbation? Me either! I'm not a fan or anything, but yay her!
"I love myself/ It’s not a sin/ I can’t control what’s happenin’// ‘Cause I just discovered/ Imagination’s taking over/ Another day without a lover/ The more I come to understand/ The touch of my hand// From the small of my back and the arch of my feet/ Lately I’ve been noticin’ the beautiful me/ I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait/ I’m into myself in the most precious way// And I don’t want to explain tonight/ All the things I’ve tried to hide/ I shut myself out from the world so I/ Can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly"


Along with the disapproval, there are all kinds of myths about masturbation that are made to scare people into not doing it. It doesn't work, of course, just like telling people not to drink or do drugs, but instead merely inspires guilt in the time after.

From erectile dysfunction to pre-ejaculation to hair growth, baldness, blindness, and illness, to sterility, malformation, and - of course- damnation.

Here are some myths I've found floating around the web. I didn't include any from satirical sites, just the ones that are actually serious.


"The harmful effects of masturbation include discharge of semen when u think about girl, reduction in penis size, tapering of penis in the base, reduced erection size, reduced amount of orgasm and the worst of all premature ejaculation. All of these problems are a big problems by themselves but thinking that they all are caused because of too much masturbation, i will say that masturbation is harmful." - Discussion on Masturbation

"Symptoms-- The following are some of the symptoms of those who are addicted to the habit: Inclination to shun company or society; frequently being missed from the company of the family, or others with whom he or she is associated; becoming timid and bashful, and shunning the society of the opposite sex; the face is apt to be pale and often a bluish or purplish streak under the eyes, while the eyes themselves look dull and languid and the edges of the eyelids often become red and sore; the person can not look anyone steadily in the face, but will drop the eyes or turn away from your gaze as if guilty of something mean.

The health soon becomes noticeably impaired, there will be general debility, a slowness of growth, weakness in the lower limbs, nervousness and unsteadiness of the hands, loss of memory, forgetfulness and inability to study or learn, restless disposition, weak eyes and loss of sight, headache and inability to sleep, or wakefulness. Next come sore eyes, blindness, stupidity, consumption, spinal affection, emaciation, involuntary seminal emissions, loss of all energy or spirit, insanity and idiocy--the hopeless ruin of both body and mind. These latter results do not always follow. Yet they or some of these do occur as a direct consequence of this pernicious habit."- Masturbation and the Bible

What is wrong with these people?

Science can't exactly prove (so far) that masturbation is medically good for you, but think of all the things we know it does do, just from experience! It helps with your blood pressure, relieves stress, creates pleasure, helps you wake up or fall asleep (depending on what you do and how), and it's completely safe and it burns calories. Sounds good to me...


And I just had to include this image, gimme a minute while I geek out and giggle:


Due to the high amount of votes for masturbation on the recent poll, this will be the first of a three part trilogy of articles on self gratification. Please comment or email with any feedback you may have, so I can make sure the entire set is as informative and enjoyable as possible.

In future posts on masturbation, I will mostly include more details; techniques, facts, problems, aids, toys, and stories.


Related Posts: Untitled Paper on Homosexuality